Homelessness is often seen as an issue that happens to "other people," but the reality is, it can happen to anyone. Rising costs, mental health struggles, job loss, and broken systems all contribute to a crisis that is growing worldwide. In this episode of Taboo Talk with Sarah, I sit down with Misty Kerrigan, an industrial-organizational psychologist, leadership coach, and advocate for vulnerable communities. With over 24 years in mental health, Misty has dedicated her career to empowering foster youth, at-risk families, and those experiencing homelessness—helping them break cycles of trauma, build self-sufficiency, and find long-term solutions instead of quick fixes. This conversation dives deep into why men, women, and even children end up on the streets, the role trauma plays, and the real solutions that go beyond just providing a bed for the night. 💜 If you’ve ever wondered how you can be part of the solution, this episode is for you.
✔️ Homelessness is a universal crisis – How it happens, why it's increasing, and the hidden side of the problem.
✔️ Foster care & aging out of the system – Why foster youth are among the highest at risk for homelessness.
✔️ Mental health & homelessness – How trauma, survival mode, and lack of support keep people stuck.
✔️ The truth about community & connection – Why people often stay homeless despite available resources.
✔️ Real solutions – What we can do as individuals and communities to make a difference.
🗣️ "Homelessness isn’t just about lacking a home—it’s about lacking a support system."
🗣️ "When we stop seeing homelessness as ‘their’ problem and start seeing it as our collective responsibility, change happens."
🗣️ "One adult who believes in a child can break the cycle. Just one."
⏱ 00:00 – Welcome & Introduction to Misty Kerrigan
⏱ 05:30 – Understanding the real causes of homelessness
⏱ 12:45 – Why foster youth face such high homelessness rates
⏱ 18:10 – Mental health, trauma & survival mode in homelessness
⏱ 22:35 – The power of connection & how small acts of kindness change lives
⏱ 28:50 – How communities can create real, lasting solutions
⏱ 33:20 – Final thoughts: What YOU can do to help
✔️ Misty Kerrigan – Advocate & leadership coach for vulnerable communities
✔️ Foster Care Support Programs – Addressing the gaps in the system
✔️ Mental Health & Homelessness Studies – Understanding the psychology of survival
✔️ Community-Based Solutions – Why long-term strategies matter
🏡 If this episode brought up heavy emotions, please reach out to support services:
📞 Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 | Lifeline Online Chat
📞 Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636 | Beyond Blue Online Chat
📞 Homelessness Australia – homelessnessaustralia.org.au
✨ Listen, share, and take action. If this episode resonated with you, don’t just listen—get involved. Find local organizations helping the homeless, donate, volunteer, or simply start a conversation.
💬 Join the discussion! Let’s break the silence and work together for change. Drop a comment, send a message, or connect on social media.
🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify & YouTube!
#TabooTalkWithSarah #HomelessnessCrisis #FosterCare #MentalHealthAwareness #BreakingTheCycle #CommunityMatters #SocialChange
Sarah Jordan-Ross (00:00) Hey and welcome back to Taboo Talk with Sarah, the podcast that breaks the silence, fosters hope and tackles the tough conversations so you never feel alone. If you're new here, I'm your host, Sarah Jordan Ross. I'm a wife, mum to three amazing boys and I've spent the last 25 years or so in the health and wellness space as a massage therapist, wellness coach, an advocate for honest, transformative conversations. Over the years, I've learned that true wellbeing goes far beyond physical health.
It's about mental wellness connection and creating communities where no one feels left behind. That's why I became a brand ambassador for the mental wellness company, because their products have made such a huge difference in my family's health and wellbeing. If you ever want to chat about that, there's a link in the show notes. But today we're diving into an issue that affects millions of people worldwide. Homelessness. It's easy to think of homelessness as something that happens to other people.
But the reality is it can happen to anyone. The rising cost of living, mental health challenges, job losses, domestic violence. These are just some of the factors that are pushing people into crisis. Globally, an estimated 150 million people are experiencing homelessness and over 1.6 billion lack adequate housing. Here in Australia, over 122,000 people are without.
stable housing and the situation is only getting worse. And bear in mind, these statistics include children under 12. In the US, homelessness has reached record highs with more than 650,000 people experiencing homelessness on any given night. The truth is, it's a universal problem that we all need to pull together to solve. My guest today is Misty Kerrigan.
an industrial organizational psychologist, leadership coach and advocate for vulnerable communities. She spent her career developing programs that empower foster youth, economically disadvantaged families and those experiencing homelessness. Her work isn't just about providing temporary relief. It's about equipping people with the leadership skills and community support they need to build lasting change in their lives. Misty, welcome, welcome, welcome. I am so glad to have you here.
Misty Kerrigan (02:27)
am very, very excited to be here, especially with such a taboo topic. love that to dive into your podcast and to the conversations. It's almost like back in the days, like the bedroom conversations that maybe we'll talk about it in our home, but it's hard to talk about outside the home of fear of upsetting someone or pissing people off. But really is if we don't have these universal conversations, how are we going to come to universal solutions?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (02:56)
Exactly. If we don't talk about a problem, how can we even hope to find a solution? And the thing is, so many people are going through such similar problems, but they don't talk about it. So nobody knows and then we can't help each other. And that's part of why I started this podcast was I think we need to have those conversations. And I'm so glad that we get to have this one today.
Misty Kerrigan (03:21)
Absolutely. I found myself kind of in the same boat a few years ago. I've been in mental health for 24 years now. And back in the day, we had this weird word for foster youth when they turned 18. We called it emancipation, where when they turned 18, they just were adults and they could go off and live on their own. what the studies or statistics were showing us where they didn't. They were some of the highest populations in suicide, completion, homelessness. then a lot majority would just go back home.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (03:33)
you
Misty Kerrigan (03:51)
And back home, if no interventions were there, they just continued the cycle. And so California a few years ago got the idea of what if we extend foster care and let's put it to age 21. Well then what we were finding is same problem years later. So at 21, there was an adequate support. They were kind of being kicked out of the system and they weren't getting kicked out to stable homes. And all the resources they have are 18, 19 and 20.
were now gone on their 21st birthday because they were considered adults.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:27)
but they haven't necessarily been given the tools to actually do the adulting thing which is really hard and sometimes it's hard enough for those of us who do have those tools but yeah it looks to me like they they get to this point and then it's like we're done now off you go go do it yourself yeah
Misty Kerrigan (04:32)
No.
Ha ha ha!
Right? Like you're going to be successful because of your age, not your skills.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:57)
Yes. My age doesn't always fit. No. You go.
Misty Kerrigan (04:57)
So one of the things, oh, go ahead. I was just gonna say
one of the things we really started was we noticed that foster youth, they have a lot of trauma and they also had these like beliefs that when they turn a certain age, they would just get apartment or a house and everything would be fine. But what we are finding here in California is most adults have roommates because of the cost of living. And so one of the problems we found right away was that the kids didn't get along with anyone.
they fought due to childhood and the trauma and stuff was so like, how do we have people that can't socialize then live together with other people who have trouble socializing? So some of the things that we really had to do was kind of help them with reality. So in one of our programs, we take them to apartments and show them this is a studio, this is a two bedroom, this is that. And then we showed them the cost so that they could kind of come to that understanding of.
It's more expensive than I would thought it would be, especially for this crappy apartment and understanding the different things that come with the different neighborhoods you live in depending on how much you're paying for rent. And so those are some of the basic conversations we started having at a younger age because, you know, like children, like they just thought as soon as I turn 18, I'm gonna become an actress or rapper and everything is gonna be fine.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (06:22)
Yeah, unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. So you've developed some programs to help support them in that. Can you share some success stories or some highlights that show that impact that that community collaboration has and what you're doing to support them?
Misty Kerrigan (06:41)
Absolutely.
So for two separate programs I have one is for foster youth independent living skills, 18 to 21 or 16 to 21, I apologize, 16 to 21. And a lot of things that we did was we took out learning through the books and we just jump into vans and drive them out into the community and learn specific skills like how to buy a car from a car lot or how to buy a car from an ad or how to get into school.
great thing about California and here in the States is there's a lot of things for foster youth. The hard part is it's a lot of paperwork and it's a lot of searching for it. So if you don't know, you'll never know. But if you get into some people who understand the resources, we're talking kids that going through college for free, able to get that education or even housing until the age of right now, we've just passed age 24 for my foster youth.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (07:32)
great.
Misty Kerrigan (07:41)
So we could help them with resources up into age 24 now. Not as many as when they're younger, but they don't just kind of get like kicked out of every single program. So what I noticed right away was the foster youth's lack of having connection and the big fear of where do I go when times are hard? I remember when I was 25 and still calling home because I had that foundation. If I needed...
I was like 29 and my car broke down. I still called my grandpa. And at that time he was like, well, here you go. Like, just make sure you're not stranded anywhere. Like I had that connection of help. And so some of those we were working with the foster youth on was that having nobody, you know, like once the social worker is gone or the families that you live with you out, you know, like age, where's that, that sense of a foundational family. And so in our programs, we started creating that connection.
Just because you don't live with someone doesn't mean they don't love you or that they can't help support you in a small way. It might be, can I come over and do some laundry? Can I, you know, like, can I pop in for dinner? You know, it doesn't have to be long-term, I'm going to live here the rest of my life, but how do we help build those connections? Because one of the major things of homelessness is isolation and distrust and the feeling of worthlessness. And, and I love how your, your show talks about hope because what we've seen is loss of hope. And when there's loss of hope,
you just don't care. And then you might find yourself down different avenues. So we like to flip that and give them that sense of hope and that still that dream. if you want to accomplish something, let's do the steps to get there and not give up right away when we don't get that first movie or when that first job fires us, but really looking at that sense of community. So one of our great success stories is we take the kids shopping.
at the 99 cents store, well guess now it's like the dollar store. But what happened is we thought they would blow their money in a bunch of candy and frivolous stuff and the kids started coming back and they started having like tampons, towels, shampoo, like basic stuff that they would probably get for free or like knockoff brands and the kids started having conversation like it felt good to get something for themselves that was theirs.
I had a kid once that we gave, and he was like 19, we did a big drawing and he picked out a blanket and a pillow, like one of those packages, you know, like when you buy in the store. And I was all like, Fred, that's interesting. Why would you pick that? And he said, I've never had my own pillow.
So that sense of ownership to things or that like I accomplished that. So those are things we learned right away. How do we get more of that so that we could start building confidence and belief in themselves and self value.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (10:28)
Yeah.
build that in so that then when they do age out of the system, they actually have resources to fall back on. So that's amazing. those things that you've learned, because there's lots of common misconceptions around homelessness and how people get there and what that means. And we don't tend to think of it as being a young person problem. But
Misty Kerrigan (10:51)
has.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (11:12)
your work shows that it quite often is. So do you want to un...
Misty Kerrigan (11:16)
Well, the crazy
part is, is there in the states, there's even some cities where the homelessness is more prevalent in the younger community, like in Portland or Seattle, where it's almost like go to be homeless. What we found, which was mind boggling to me was in the homelessness camps, there's still a sense of community. There's still a sense of camaraderie or there's a lot of things to be scared of, like, know, like theft or
bodily harm, but when they get close knit camps where they start to trust one another, I was watching a video one time and in one of the homeless camps, they were having an HOA meeting about certain rules that they should all follow to make the community safer for everyone. And it blew my mind because in my head I'm like, but they're homeless. Like you would think that they only care about how they get their food for tonight. Right. And it was sometimes it wasn't more of a, it was a choice.
a choice to stay where they were because they felt a sense of belonging and connection or in value sense that's never going to get better than that. And so with the younger population we've seen is if they get these mentors that take them in and show them like begging on the streets going to get you, you know, like $80 today and you could buy food and take care of yourself and still have money left over to drink or have some drugs and then come hang out, they don't know anything else.
Like it's not a comparison to like, but if I went and got a job, it would look like this. So with the younger community, was just a, what we were finding was almost a lifestyle that was fun. was aspects of it that were scary and dangerous, but for the most part, they just had to kind of like sit outside on the sidewalk, ask people for money, and then come back to the community with their contribution of what they earned that day by, by begging. So we learned too, as the, wow, that.
That threw me off from what I originally would think of I thought that every person who was homeless wanted to get out of being homeless, which was my, I don't know, naive idea of it. And then we even found studies, cause there's a city in Texas where the resources outweigh the need, but they still have statistically the same amount of people on the streets. And so science couldn't figure out like, I don't, they don't understand. Cause in every sort of conversation, it's not enough resources, not enough resources.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (13:32)
interesting.
Misty Kerrigan (13:39)
But here you had the opposite, you had enough resources, but not people coming to the resources. And so after the study to figure out why, the number one reason people weren't coming into the resources was a sense of dignity and feeling like their dignity was being taken away when they would come into the very organizations that were set up to help them. And that mind boggled me for like months of how do we work on that, not only for the organizations that are serving the population,
but for those to have the courage to come in and ask for help if it is needed. So was like that, two-way conversation in that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (14:22)
because sometimes it's that actual asking for help that is the hardest thing or you know helps out there but you don't know exactly what it is that you need and I've had experience more in like in the health space where I've heard carers or even people suffering from I must say
I just wish somebody would give me a list of what I could choose from instead of asking me what I want or what I need because right now in the space I'm in, I haven't got a clue where to start. But if you give me options, if you give me choices, I can pick something.
Misty Kerrigan (14:53)
Hmm.
That's brilliant. Because an overwhelmed brain does nothing. We get like flooded and stuck. But if we could just pick A or B, we're more likely to pick one of the two than nothing at all. If you ask me what I need at that time, I might not know.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (15:10)
and
But I think that's possibly too with the homelessness thing or just the thought that I had was they also get comfortable with the uncomfortable. They know where they stand in that space. They know how things work. Whereas making those changes, that can be the scary thing because they don't know what it's going to look like on the other side.
Misty Kerrigan (15:51)
yeah, that, that fight or flight, if we stay comfortable, even if it's out housed or, in an encampment, then we're still in some sort of way safer than if we step into the unknown. The brain is, is mind boggling.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (16:07)
And the more I learn about it, the more I realize I know nothing.
But I suppose that's in a lot of areas. The more we learn, the more we discover, the more we realize we didn't really know that much to start with.
Misty Kerrigan (16:23)
my God, that is so true. We have another program, it's called Wraparound, and it originated with foster youth where we would bring more people to the table. So there would be a mental health expert, maybe a nurse if they had like, you know, were struggling with diabetes or if they were overweight and wanted help with fitness, we'd have like a health coach or a stress person, right? So it's taking life domains like family and fun and bills and court and getting all of their needs on the table.
the things that they're doing well in. Because even in one of my friends always jokes, because he was homeless for a little bit, he's all, homelessness aren't frivolous. He's like, I never budget so hard in my life when I was homeless. Like I could run a budget. He's like, I just didn't have enough money in that budget. It wasn't that I was out there spending all my money. It was just that the amount of money I was giving in wasn't covering the things that I needed. And so one of the things is to have that strength based of where what is working.
And so we take all those and then we create a plan. We call it a plan of care with every domain so that they have someone in each corner. And so it's worked really well for foster care. It moved into at-risk youth. We've, over the last couple of years, have tried it in jails with inmates who are struggling with mental health that have all that in prison. They got doctors and meds, but as soon as they're released, all that's gone.
And so they were seeing that population go straight to homelessness, especially with the mental health issues. So we tried it there and some churches, we're training some churches to be able to lay out the model. We're working with individuals on sitting at a table and having people around them who know, like, and love them and offering as much as they can with a family being able to kind of speak on, we call it voice and choice. What is the very things that
they need or that they're successful in so that they could also see their celebrations. And so we're excited because it takes out the sort of levelness of these are the people trying to help you and this is you getting the help. But at the table, we're all just sitting there and like your show, engaged in a conversation. the DPSS has even helped with like not removing kids if the family's living in a car.
but they're taking care of the kids are getting to school, their showers. We had a family once we were working with where during the day they would be in school, the parents would pick them up from their grandparents' house, they would eat dinner, they would do family activities, and the parents would drop them off and then go sleep in their car until we worked on a plan to help them get into some affordable housing so they could reunite the family. But the kids never had to go with strangers. So they weren't.
quite in the system, even though they couldn't sleep in the car with the parents, because that was considered neglect. If the parents had somewhere they could sleep that was safe, and they stayed in the car, they never had to relinquish custody of them. So it was more of that planning around their needs, because they just needed a few more weeks to have the checks come in and do the things they need to do to put down the deposits. And last month and this month, I knew what that looks like.
If you ever had to move right it's all those small bills that kill you not the big ones because you're like I could afford rent but it's like, okay But can you afford the three months pay before and the electricity and all the other things that sneak up on you?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (19:50)
Eh.
because moving house is expensive and getting more so. And so many things are, and I love that your programs focus not just on meeting those immediate needs, but actually empowering people to have long-term success and long-term change, which is what we need. And that you come around the table and do it. I found that the table is a great leveling.
Misty Kerrigan (19:56)
Yes.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (20:22)
field and just having those conversations and love that you're focusing on that community and strengthening that. Do you want to talk a bit more about that?
Misty Kerrigan (20:35)
We love looking at stuff as in human needs, like the underlying needs, like that need for control, need for empowerment, need for contribution, right? Needing to feel successful and confident. So when we see the behaviors that may have led to becoming unhoused, we could kind of study those and see what can be put into place while we're still working on housing so that we could beef up some of the other areas that may have contributed to
why they're not on the streets. And that might be just as simple as confidence. You know, you get fired from a few jobs, you're gonna think, you're gonna start, you know, like beating yourself up. I can't do it. Why am gonna apply anyway? What's leads to lack of that income coming in? Lack of income means I'm a failure. Now I'm fighting with my family because I feel like crap. And so really looking at where some of that, those strength-based contributing factors are also in play. You know, like we take the term, well, you're pretty stubborn.
And then, and we flip that to like, you're determined. know that you're going to find a way because you've always found a way. And even looking at that with some of the understanding a little better about some of the mental health things, like, you know, if you're, if you're going through high highs and low lows, how do we help put things in place for those lows? Cause when you're in your high highs and you think you're invincible, you know, you're going to go out and maybe try to get the job or do the things. But when you can't get out of bed, you're not going to sustain the job. So always looking into,
into those factors that we could change that helps change beliefs.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (22:09)
So looking at the root causes of the problem and trying to stop that nasty spiral before it gets out of control and leveling out that, that's great stuff. think more, we need more organizations and more things that do that, that we actually look at the root causes of problems and what we can do about them, not just stick a bandaid on a gaping wound. So I love that your work is doing that.
Misty Kerrigan (22:15)
Yes.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (22:40)
So a lot of our listeners would be feeling quite deeply about homelessness. Yet it tends to be something that we think happens to other people or about more and more coming to the realization that it could happen to anyone. And I'm not 100 % sure about the States, but I know here in Australia, hidden homelessness is a big thing with families sleeping in cars.
Misty Kerrigan (23:02)
Mm.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (23:08)
that sort of thing, but they're still holding down jobs. So the common misconception is that anyone who doesn't have a home is unemployed or is a drug addict. You've seen that that's not the case. So.
Misty Kerrigan (23:24)
It almost flips it where what we've seen is drugs are the aftermath of loss of everything, not the cause of why they lost everything. Like if you're there on there on the streets and they feel horrible, someone's going to come along and be like, hey, this is gonna help you feel better. Right. And so in that moment of feeling at least I feel better for two hours a day, even though that the whole thing is when you're in fight or flight, you don't have big picture, right? You don't have
five turn, long year, like, this is my long year, one year plan, right? We're gonna do A, B and C, right? You're just like, where am I sleeping tonight that I can feel safe? And even what we've noticed with some of, definitely some of our foster youth is our young adults, even just having them understand where they could go and shower. There's lots of, there's some churches, I'm here in Riverside, California, and a couple of days a week, some of the churches just open up and let people come in and shower and feel.
better? Like, don't know about you, but after like a rough week or if I've ever just felt like horrible, like just taking a hot shower changes how I feel about myself. And so like somewhere to go wash your hair, somewhere to wash some clothes so that you feel better and that you're not like living in your failure. But what are some of those smaller things that the community can do so that those that are doing the bigger things have more time to do those bigger things?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (24:51)
There's so many little things we can do to get involved. I know there is a local charity here in Launceston that does exactly what you're talking about. They have facilities for people to shower, they have facilities for people to do laundry and they're open not every day but most days. So that people do have that safe place to go. So if people are wanting to get
involved and wanting to do something to help. Where do think they could start?
Misty Kerrigan (25:25)
I love looking at not just your local soup kitchens, which is a great, like, I mean, if you're gonna come in and help feed families, that's great. But what we found in some interviews with those that are utilizing that is not so much that you're bringing your kids in to learn a lesson not to be homeless, but that connecting with people while you're there, you know, like that, how are you, that maybe sitting down or I know for what, some of the times we go in, we even bring the foster youth with us.
And we'll do homeless shelters and we do retirement communities. And the foster youth love it because it's that sense of giving back and contribution. So just playing a board game, just coming in, talking to someone. That the worst thing that we have in the world is isolation. They found that, and some prisons aren't even allowed to do it anymore because of the mental effects it caused by separating people from others. So in helping out with that.
I like to look for organizations that have mentors. like maybe coming in, like if you love gardening, can you come into an organization and teach people how to garden? So aligning your passions and your divine gifts and coming into those organizations and just getting to do that on a Saturday, Sunday, what you'd be probably doing anyway. You know, like you're a really great budgeter. Well, come and do a class. Come, come teach about basic budgets or you're really into nutrition.
as funny as that sounds is come in and talk about nutrition. We do a course with the kids on how to help them budget for healthy foods, because it seems, if you're not looking right, healthy foods are more than the fast food. But in certain stores, they'll sell broken vegetables for cheaper because no one wants the ugly vegetables. So just teaching them how to utilize that same amount of money, but to make healthier choices. And then just making those
those human connections, the high, the... I remember when I first moved to... I'm from a small town in Arizona and I didn't see that we had homelessness because we just couch surfed or people just stayed like that. We didn't... I'd never saw anyone sleep on the streets in my small town. Like there was always somewhere for people to sleep. So when I got to the bigger town and I was seeing that, like it was a culture shock. And also I was like, I didn't know where to look. I'm like, I don't want to stare at them or I don't want to. And now...
Sometimes it's just eye contact and smile. Like it's seeing the humanity in everyone no matter what level of life they're on.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (27:57)
remembering that we're all just people doing the best we can with with what we have and in any given moment we have a choice we can come alongside people and help them or we can make things harder for them and more often than not a smile being kind doesn't cost anything but it can be something that makes a huge difference
to someone. that's my thing is that try to find little ways and yeah, like just a smile, just making eye contact can be the thing that makes a difference to somebody's life. You never know that might be the thing that saves them. So where you can help, then you do. So yeah, here at Taboo Talk, we're talking about all the stuff that we don't talk about and we've
Misty Kerrigan (28:51)
I love that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (28:57)
We've done a little bit of that today, but what do you think's one conversation about homelessness or leadership or community that doesn't happen often enough?
Misty Kerrigan (29:07)
So we've studied gangs. I don't know if you guys have gangs there. yeah, so the crazy part is, is they meet every human need that teens have. Sense of belonging, sense of protection, sense of contribution, right? Is that the gang has found this way to make a one-stop shop for all their needs. And so some of the conversations might be is what works in homelessness? What?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:13)
Yep. It's a universal thing, I think.
Misty Kerrigan (29:37)
what needs are being met on the street so that if we could have more conversations around that, especially with those that have been there, because not a lot of people want to admit that at some point in their life, you know, that they were homeless, they lived on the street or they were, we call it couch surfing for our kids. They were couch surfing, meaning that they were staying at different houses at different nights so they wouldn't be a burden all at once. But having those like, well, what worked? And then if we could then find out what worked at a deeper level, we could replicate that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:52)
Yeah.
Misty Kerrigan (30:06)
in other services to help still meet those needs while we're moving them into safer spaces.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (30:15)
He's got my previous background. do have sociology training and I will admit I way back when I was a wee bit of a social control theorist but part of why I liked it it's based on the idea that we'd all be criminals if we didn't have good reason not to that if we don't have attachment commitment involvement and belief then we don't have any reason to stick to the rules
Misty Kerrigan (30:26)
You
Yes!
Sarah Jordan-Ross (30:45)
And I think that's part of why, as you said, gangs provide that because they have an attachment to other people. They are involved in their community. They have a belief in the goals and ideals of that community.
Misty Kerrigan (31:02)
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:07)
attachment and they're committed to it.
Misty Kerrigan (31:10)
Yeah, and they do things that are horrible
to increase commitment. they don't, if I did that, I must be really committed. So it's that psychological, that sociological play on how we kind of intermix as humans, found a negative way to do some really great things that help, even though in the end it's not self-sustaining. So I think it's the same thing when we see the problem prevail and it gets bigger and bigger, what's not a problem in it?
the danger, right? Or the community, the businesses around, I know for us in ARIA sometimes it impacts the businesses that have people in front of it and stuff. So there is some negative variables to it, but if we just focus on the negative, it's gonna be hard to move people from point A to point B.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:58)
Whereas if we could take those, the positive things within that of that community, that connection, that human, that universal getting needs met and transfer that to a more positive environment rather than the criminal element, we just might see some big shifts. There was another one I loved, that apparently,
Misty Kerrigan (32:17)
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:24)
some of the Inuit tribes in North America, they have a really interesting system of punishment in that if you break the rules, you get shipped off to a little island by yourself for not for very long, but just for a little bit. And because they are such closely bound, tight knit family based communities, their recidivism rates are next to nothing because
separating them from the community is the most horrible thing you can do to them. But then the thing is when they come back they are welcomed back into that community.
All is done, all's forgiven. Just don't go do the same stupid thing again.
Misty Kerrigan (33:13)
Did you learn from it, right?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:15)
Yeah. And I think some of your programs seem to be taking that. Yeah, learn from the experience and then use it to, to help others.
Misty Kerrigan (33:30)
And definitely when we have people in their different roles and they're taking their sense of self from that role, like I was here, now I'm there, and I go back and I help people, that just empowers them more to be able to connect not only with people, but where a lot of times people refuse to connect with is to connect with yourself and maybe really look at the trauma that was there before you ended up on the streets.
and the trauma that while you're on the streets now, what occurred? Because it's not always fun and games. sometimes there's lots of horrible crimes that are committed. So it really, for me and maybe just the 24 years experience in mental health, everything just swings back to mental health and identity.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (34:18)
I agree, mental health underpins everything else. If you're struggling mentally, you're going to be struggling in every area. And that sometimes that's not taken into account is looking at what's going on for the whole person. So I'm really glad that you guys do that.
thinking there's so much we could talk about. Is there anything else that you think we don't talk about that really needs to?
Misty Kerrigan (34:55)
Back to foster youth, it's one of my main passions, being adopted myself. Really looking at, if I'm a parent, I remember I had some friends in school that their parents just welcomed me in. I had chores on their chore chart. Misty Stay for Dinner, I always felt welcomed, I always felt included, I always felt like part of that family. And I know some of my friends grew up and they had kids and they became the cool house where...
that's where the kids would kind of migrate to. And so I always encourage families to take that time. Maybe if you see that kid struggling, they may not be homeless or at risk yet, or maybe they're not foster, but they might want to be. Maybe it's not always great in their home. It's taking that time to embrace them, help them feel like part of your family. Because what we found in studies that helps kids go from at risk to successful adults.
is one positive relationship with an adult. That's it. One adult that saw something more in them than they saw in themselves and helped nurture that out. And that can be just as simple as, have little Bobby stay for dinner, you know, and welcoming in some of your kids' friends that, you know, like, you know, you have those conversations with your spouse, like, I don't know how good at home their home life is, you know, like, why don't we invite them on this weekend trip we're taking? You know, it's going to be a couple more dollars, but...
I think that's where we start is in the childhood, is in children, is creating bigger communities with the ones they're already in, like their sports or their hobbies or their after school curricular activities or even their in school, like where they start to identify is if you are doing amazing in your life, opening up and helping some other kids too.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (36:40)
Great. Yeah, us all connecting and helping each other. So many of the conversations I've been having lately, that seems to be the universal theme. It's the community connection. We suffer when we're isolated, but we thrive when we have that community around us and those people that see more in us than we see in ourselves or just bring out the best in us and
still love us when we're not at our best. I think that's the... that's the thing.
Misty Kerrigan (37:14)
Yes, I think you said that perfectly.
That's when we need the most love. We're not at our best.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (37:21)
Yeah.
That's it. Sometimes the people who need the most love and support are the ones who ask for it in the most unloving ways.
Misty Kerrigan (37:31)
you said that perfectly.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (37:34)
you
Yeah, see, I pay attention to all the things all these wonderful people tell me.
Misty Kerrigan (37:41)
Good job, Sarah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (37:45)
Yeah, sometimes I listen.
Well I figure I can't complain that my kids occasionally have painted on ears if I'm not actually using mine either.
That's the comment. I do! Three amazing boys who constantly surprise me and challenge me in all sorts of different ways.
Misty Kerrigan (38:00)
And you got three points!
Sarah Jordan-Ross (38:13)
Yeah, so yes and they're very big on connection and like helping other people.
which I love.
Misty Kerrigan (38:30)
I love that. Well, the apple, we say here, apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (38:34)
Yeah, yeah, I think that's a universal one too. Yeah, so we could keep talking about all sorts of things all day, but it's early in the morning here and I need to soon go and get my amazing boys ready for school. I love having early morning conversations. It's a great way to start the day. So thank you so, so much for
Misty Kerrigan (38:54)
my gosh.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (39:04)
joining me today. I've loved... We might have to do it again one day.
Misty Kerrigan (39:07)
Thank you so much for the invitation.
We could get dirtier topics and get in there.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (39:18)
If anyone has topics that they'd like us to talk about, please put it in the comments or reach out via messenger or get in touch with us in some way. I want to know what people want to talk about. There's no end of conversations that we could have.
Originally I wanted to call the show shit we don't talk about but that was already taken So so I stopped and thought and it's like mmm. Yeah those things that we're There's lots of stuff. We're told not to talk about and it's not always just sex drugs and rock and roll there's there's lots of other stuff, so But I don't the things that affect mums of special needs kids the things that affect
Misty Kerrigan (39:58)
my god.
Hahaha!
Sarah Jordan-Ross (40:13)
foster kids, the things that affect people who are struggling with mental health issues. There's so many different topics that we could explore and that would be so much fun to do.
Misty Kerrigan (40:30)
that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (40:31)
Yeah, so we will get you back on one day to to do that because yeah, can't cover everything in half an hour or an hour.
Misty Kerrigan (40:37)
It would be an honor.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (40:43)
Yeah, sorry. But before we go to our listeners, this isn't just a problem for for policymakers or or charities to solve. There is something each and every one of us can do. And it might just be having those conversations that we don't normally have or sitting down with someone and looking at a problem from a different way. So
there's lots of stuff you can do whether it's volunteering, donating, just having those conversations. So if this episode resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, make sure you do tell us what you want to talk about because hey the show is called Taboo Talk that means that there's nothing we can't talk about.
which I think is kind of cool. So if you want to connect with Misty and learn more about her work, I'll get her to tell us how you can do that, but it'll also be in the show notes. So Misty, if they want to get hold of you, how can they?
Misty Kerrigan (41:53)
my gosh, social media is my jam. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, it's Misty Kerrigan. And you'll see, you'll know it's me, cause you'll see the fedora. So Misty Kerrigan and you'll see the fedora.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (41:56)
You
love your hat.
It is so cool. That's how I first spotted you. I'd seen you on a couple of LA Tribune panels and a few other things and it's like then I went I'll admit it I Facebook stalked you.
As soon as I spotted your hat, it's like, yep, that's her. Yep, and it works well. Okay, so until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and remember, change starts with you, and it can be as simple as a conversation. So please keep sharing your stories, because they really do matter.
Misty Kerrigan (42:28)
That's the brand!