What if the setbacks you faced weren’t the end of your story—but the beginning of becoming who you were meant to be? In this soul-stirring episode of Taboo Talk with Sarah, leadership coach, speaker, and founder of The Mentoring Effect, Alex Terrey, joins Sarah for a deep, real, and transformational conversation. From building global businesses to surviving deep personal loss, Alex’s journey is one of resilience, reinvention, and redefining success through conscious leadership. Together, they explore the power of identity shifts, emotional healing, the unseen toll of high-performance culture, and why true leadership always starts from within.
✔️ The Neuro-Identity Shift – How conscious self-awareness leads to lasting transformation
✔️ Healing from Burnout – The hidden cost of high-performance culture (and how to rebuild yourself)
✔️ Conscious Leadership – Why authentic leadership begins with inner work, not outer image
✔️ The CEB Technique – Alex’s cognitive, emotional, behavioral method for rewiring your reality
✔️ The Power of Belonging – Creating safe spaces where true connection and growth can happen
🗣️ “The messy middle isn’t failure. It’s the becoming.” – Jenny Infante-Reyes (quoted during the episode)
🗣️ “Healing your identity isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are.” – Alex Terrey
🗣️ “You’re not meant to fit in. You’re meant to belong.” – Sarah Jordan Ross
⏱️ 00:00 – Welcome & Introduction: Meeting Alex Terrey
⏱️ 01:30 – Global Businesses, Burnout & Identity Shifts
⏱️ 06:10 – Navigating Loss, Infertility, and Grief
⏱️ 08:30 – The Awakening: Personal Growth After Rock Bottom
⏱️ 10:00 – Noticing the Need for Change: Signs from Within
⏱️ 13:00 – High-Performance Culture and the Hidden Mental Toll
⏱️ 18:40 – The Birth of the CEB Technique
⏱️ 26:00 – Conscious Leadership & Healing the Workplace
⏱️ 32:00 – Belonging vs. Fitting In: The True Power of Community
⏱️ 39:00 – What Conversations We Need to Have More Of
⏱️ 43:00 – Closing Thoughts: Authenticity, Courage & the Road Ahead
Alex Terrey
💜 If this conversation spoke to you, share it with someone navigating their own identity shift or leadership journey.
💬 What was your biggest takeaway? DM Sarah or Alex—we’d love to hear from you!
🎧 Subscribe to Taboo Talk with Sarah on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you don’t miss these real, raw, and hope-filled conversations.
✨ Your story matters—and sometimes, the messy middle is where the magic happens.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (00:00) welcome back to Taboo Talk with Sarah, the podcast that breaks the silences, fosters hope and tackles the tough stuff so you never have to feel alone. If we haven't met before, I'm your host, Sarah Jordan Ross. I'm a wife, I'm a mum of three amazing boys. And I've spent the last 25 years in the health and wellbeing space as a massage therapist and wellness coach and holding space for real honest conversations.
because that's where I think healing happens. Now they're the kind of conversations you won't always find on the Facebook highlight reel, but they're the ones we need to be having. And today's conversation is a special one. My guest is someone I've recently connected with through our shared involvement with the Los Angeles Tribune. And I've been inspired by the way she leads, lives and lifts up others. She's a powerhouse leadership coach, a speaker at the upcoming leadership week and the founder of the mentoring effect.
Please welcome Alex Terry. Alex, I am so glad you could join us today.
Alex Terrey (01:01)
Thank you so much Sarah, thank you so much for having me and it's really honestly it's super pleasure to be here. I'm looking forward to it.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (01:09)
Okay, so let's get into it. You've built and led businesses around the world from Europe and the Caribbean and now you're here in Australia. But I know the version of success that you've got today didn't come without some bumps and burnout along the way and probably a couple of identity shifts. Can you unpack that a little bit for us? Tell us when you realized that things needed to change when the old way of doing things just wasn't cutting it anymore.
Alex Terrey (01:38)
Yeah, thank you so much for the question. It's very interesting because I think there was a lot of different shifts. when you're going, the first shift was big one from when I was in Slovakia back home where I'm coming from. And I was running my business and...
It was quite good, like was for eight years, it was working well. We were doing some amazing events and we had some amazing connections and clients. And I was on the top of the world, right? I was very young and I was like, wow, this is easy. I can do everything. And I built up this massive trust, right? I was like, everything is possible. And it just became probably...
I would say more ego driven world. Like I just wanted to try everything. I just wanted to be cool. It was all about that, that time. And I sold the business and I moved to Thailand and I was like, yeah, let's open coffee shop. Let's, let's do something that no one does. Right. It was driven by that. It was just more about adventure. It was more about trying new things and putting myself in the places that I have no idea how I will build up the business or how I will live there. I didn't know the language.
didn't know anything. it was more, I think pushing boundaries probably and trying or probably testing the luck. I would say so. that was very different way of how I lived. I guess it was more about me. It was more selfish and
Sarah Jordan-Ross (02:53)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (03:04)
Look, it was fun. Definitely it was fun that time. And after that, when I saw the business in Thailand, after a few years, I came back home to Slovakia and I was like, okay, what's now? And I was like, let's go on the other side of the world and let's go to Bahamas. And then I was looking at a map, you know, other side of the world was exactly Caribbean and said, okay, let's, let's go there and try something there. So it was all very...
I don't know, very happy, easy, fun, even though it wasn't easy of course to build up business. It was coming with a lot of challenges, but...
When I look at life now, I was overcoming that from different perspective, know, different, I guess, different personality, different identity. And when I moved to Perth, that was first one before I live here in Brisbane, I kind of got slapped a few times. And that was when I kind of woke up and I was like, wow, okay, so let's be real. I'm old enough. ⁓ Something needs to shift. Like I'm just living this fun life, but now it's becoming not fun.
and I couldn't find a job when I moved to Perth and I was like, wow, how come that I mean nothing? Right? So that was when I started to struggle a lot with my identity, like who I am, who I am going to be or...
what I thought that I achieved and it was, you know, cool and it was great. It wasn't any more cool and no one else perceived that that way. So I kind of felt like I'm losing myself and I couldn't find a job for long time because of, you know, no ride visa, no connections, nothing. So it was pretty tough. And I sent out 1024 CVs and I got zero interviews. So I would say there's something wrong with recruiting system, but that's another conversation we can have.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:51)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (04:52)
down
later on. Another thing that is really tough with immigration of course but when we go you know to the life I was like okay so what I know how to do is business so I had to set up another business because I had to make money so I had to leave and actually pay for house pay for food and and yeah so that was kind of when I was feeling very down very
Sarah Jordan-Ross (05:09)
Yes.
Alex Terrey (05:17)
very much I didn't know who I am. Like I totally lost myself because I wasn't sure what is my expertise, what is actually what I love.
Yeah, I was very lost and plus into that space, two years in PATH came another trauma, another personal trauma that I realized I had ectopic pregnancy and I realized that I can't have kids afterwards because I lost my fallopian tubes and basically we went through a lot of IVFs and it was just miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage and you can imagine, you know, being on hormones and trying to achieve something that is out of your control.
It was another identity shift, I guess, you when you realize that, I can't even do the major thing that all women should be able to do, And bring hits into the world. Sorry.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (06:10)
That's a really hard one because we think having a baby is going to be easy or breastfeeding is going to come naturally. It's what everybody does. But when we don't fit into that or when we can't do that, it affects how we see ourselves.
Alex Terrey (06:16)
Yes.
you
Yeah, absolutely. there was basically when you look at all the circumstances, was, know, financially. So I lost totally the major needs for security, safety and being able to take care of myself, even though I was slowly starting, but it just took so long and I couldn't find a job. So I felt like I'm not worthy. I can't actually give back. I can't contribute. So there was nothing to contribute to. And now I can't contribute at home as well as a woman and I can't actually bring kids into the world. So it was like all these
turmoil of things that I actually became sad and bitter
angry, frustrated, can imagine all of things. Yeah. So that was probably the lowest peak, you know, like when you look at, look at, you know, highest peak you can have, you know, when you're on the top of the world. And that was my traveling and having businesses. And now I was in the lowest and I honestly didn't know what to do. And that's where kind of that personal growth self-help, you know, how to, how I get rid of the fear and how do I become again?
the person that I was before happier you know and trusting myself and I was I was looking at that those two different things two different states and identities where we can live and that's the one that doesn't trust self at all and feels like nothing and the one that trusted even silly way right even naive way trusted and
believe that can achieve everything. So I had those like really big two personalities and I saw it and I was like, wow, I want to be rather that than I was before. Of course, with a little bit more, I guess, experience and taking that from different angle little bit. I was looking at it like, I don't want to be this. Like, I just, that's not me. And that was my kind of start of...
Sarah Jordan-Ross (08:08)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (08:22)
transformation and learning about everything about psychology, neuroscience, biology, physics, everything, because I try to find a way how to actually get out of it.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (08:33)
Yeah, which brings us nicely to a couple of questions that I had for you. One was about your work with the CEB technique. So blending cognitive, emotional and behavioral things together. But then there's something that you talk about and I really resonate with and I think we've touched on it already. It's that identity work, that how we see ourselves. You call it a neuro identity shift. I on previous episodes have called it
Alex Terrey (08:36)
You
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:02)
becoming that shifting from where you are to where you want to be, but also to who you are. But most of us don't wake up one day and decide to become somebody new. It's usually after that period of we've had the high, we've hit the low, we're stuck, we're scared, we're confused, we don't know what we're doing, we're completely out of alignment.
Alex Terrey (09:10)
Yeah.
Hmm.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:31)
So I suppose the question is, how do we notice when we're in that, recognize those moments and then shift into those processes that are going to help us to get where we're going?
Alex Terrey (09:46)
Yeah, I think that two sides of that, how you can kind of notice, I think that the one thing is the result, right? So results that you are achieving. So for example, you look in your health, you look at your finance, you look at your career, you look at your relationships, you're looking what you're creating basically around yourself. So I believe environment is big reflection or is like a mirror.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:48)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (10:07)
So if you don't like something, something is going on inside. So that was my kind of first thing. Like I can't find a job. I can't make money. And I thought, you know, that thought process, I can't, it was already wrong, right? So, but it felt like there's a wall, you know, in front of me and all these beliefs and things that I started to build up, they become my reality. So what I was seeing was the environment and the other thing that we can notice, I always said, notice how you feel.
And this doesn't mean that we need to all day checking the feelings and emotions because that become a little bit, you know, our other side and dangerous. It's more about, okay, I feel resistance. I feel anger. Okay. So I'm frustrated, right? So, so what am I frustrated about? Like what is making me frustrating is actually me. So it's my reaction, belief about the situation. So for example, ⁓ I was very frustrated when I saw
Sarah Jordan-Ross (10:43)
Exo.
Alex Terrey (11:02)
people, they're drinking alcohol and they're on drugs and they have four or five kids and I couldn't have one, right? So for me, that's that time. That was the biggest kind of trigger point. So I had to work through. said, wow. So basically is anger and jealousy and everything that was coming out. said, OK, so what if I look at, you know, that picture from love perspective? So I was bringing different sorts of emotions into my life and questions. You know, what would love do?
And think that question, don't know actually who said it, but I believe that was one of my mentors or one of my teachers. But he said, just ask question, what would love do? And I was like, that's just a fantastic question because what would love do is always, you know what, I love you. know, a world this is great. You know, this is life and you know, life we think is not fair or is fair, but it doesn't matter is life. So love would accept and have compassion. So.
I started to learn through that reflection of the environment and the emotion. So when we are triggered to recognize that and I think that's bringing us to that first point of awareness, right? Having awareness is the starting point for everything, for any change. If you want to change your results, if you want to change your health, if you want to change your life, if you just want to achieve a little bit more, you need to be aware where you are at what is going on in life.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (12:26)
so many things to ask. No, you did. And I'm really liking that both of us tend to like going beyond the fluff and not hanging out at that surface level, but going to what's going on underneath what's really happening. So let's talk about some of the stuff that doesn't get talked about all that often. So you've got
Alex Terrey (12:28)
I was like, how about I answer your question?
Sarah Jordan-Ross (12:54)
power dynamics in leadership and the mental toll of high performance culture because you were you were a high flyer and then I don't like to say that you crashed and burned but you kind of did
Alex Terrey (13:03)
Yeah.
Okay.
I did. Absolutely. That's such a beautiful way to say thank you. It's exactly crash and burn and I actually burn out as well. it's definitely a mix of things because when you...
when you are pushed by that ⁓ security missing, you like you don't have that basics in your life and you feel like nothing, you push, push, push, you push hard, of course, and you try to perform. So for me, I'm actually really big fan of high performance, but with keeping in mind or being aware of well-being and that's what nobody really had before because we never really have these conversations about, you know, well-being, self-love, self-help. You need to relax, you need to pause, you need to, you know,
sitting in the stillness, who knew that? yes, old yogis and ancient cultures knew that, but we just kind of went with society on this high level of energy spent, I guess. So yeah, the question you asked was what is the toll of it?
Wow, there's a lot. Okay, so examples of my clients and myself, I can just combine. So basically health is the first thing. So when we are actually trying to perform high all the time and we don't understand who we are, is our capacity, what are our stressors and how we can actually change that and how we can actually feel the energy from inside out, well, basically through our body and our mind. And... ⁓
We need our mind and body healthy. We can't perform without that. So when we actually don't know how to regulate emotions and energy, I believe that health is the number one. So gut problems, It's constipation, it's bloating, it's allergies, food allergies. You can't digest food. And I was going through, two years ago, three years ago, I had 21 food allergies because of stress and because of burnout.
and I have none. it's... and I didn't take any tablets. Because when I went to see doctors they're like, I don't know what's wrong with you, you're fine. I said, no, I'm not fine. I can't eat. So I said...
Sarah Jordan-Ross (15:19)
Yeah, that
generally means that something's very, wrong.
Alex Terrey (15:24)
Yeah, but they couldn't find anything. The problem is that the energy that we don't talk about, you know, like that energy and emotions.
We don't understand the biology, neuroscience. We don't understand what happened in our body when we are stressed and when we are performing, performing, performing. It's that internal pressure we are basically functioning on cortisol and adrenal hormones. And that functioning on that beautiful mix of the really bad hormones and neurotransmitters, they're changing our organs. They are depleted from nutrients and we're just destroying our gut. And we know that
Sarah Jordan-Ross (16:00)
Yeah, because one basic
things sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. One of the basic things with how stress works on the body. When we're in that fight or flight, all of the blood from our digestive system gets diverted to our muscles so we can fight the threat and run away from it. Body responds exactly the same way to a psychological or emotional threat as it does to a physical one. All it gets is that there's a saber tooth tiger trying to eat me I need to run away. When you spin
Alex Terrey (16:03)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (16:29)
months with your digestive system not getting the blood supply it should be and not functioning the way that it should be it has all sorts of knock-on effects but we don't talk about that.
Alex Terrey (16:39)
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
And because it's not a...
really best in medicine is actually combining different, different, guess, modalities and teachings. And when you look at, know, psychology doesn't talk about that. Psychologists should talk about a lot around the health, you know, the body. we disconnecting basically the cognitive or analytical brain from our body, but they are connected. And, know, probably like, you know, our gut feeling, if you've got feeling intuition is actually much smarter than, than our brain so many times, so many times we've been getting, you know, answers from, from.
gut, right? We feel it. And I was studying like why is that because I couldn't understand why I can't create relationships. There was another impact, right? So when you look at people running under stress, usually going through divorce, you know, usually don't have great relationships with kids or they don't have, you know, relationships with the team members and they basically more directing than leading. So it has massive impact on how we communicate because like yesterday I was distracted and I was stressed, right? And I realized that and I
told my husband this morning I said I can't believe it I forgot like five different things that were normal and it's small things like you know rubbish bins out ⁓ calling my brother because his names day is yesterday luckily they still have yesterday today morning so I was able to saving it but it was like small things that I normally don't forget so what happens actually with stress we perform low we have bad results we definitely we can't become high performance on stress
high performers, yeah that's better way, on stress. So that's probably another toll. Relationships, health, what else? I would say everything. I would say everything. Everything has, it has impact on everything in our life.
That's a lot. We can talk about the downsides and negatives a lot.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (18:31)
Yeah. Yeah.
And your experience with stress and with that led you to develop the C-E-B technique. Do you want to take us through that a little bit?
Alex Terrey (18:42)
Yeah, so basically what I I because I suffered with a really bad bit like a fear. It was physical fear. I was because we had four burglaries like everything bad was happening that time, right? So you can imagine It's like what we are. That's what we attract and I didn't know that that time and I was like, wow, okay So I have this debilitating fear that I actually get into bed and I can't sleep and I feel stuck and I was physically frozen in bed when the leaf moved outside I was I just faced and
Sarah Jordan-Ross (18:58)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (19:12)
and I couldn't move. it was so, I can't even explain how strong feeling that was that I felt actually how those negative hormones and neurotransmitters actually flooding my body. Like I felt so sick. And I was like, okay, so what can I do? So I tried different techniques and I realized that...
Cognitively when I was thinking about the moving leaves and somebody's already coming in the house and it's going to kill me or is going to do something bad to me, know I created stress and that stress was bigger and bigger and bigger So I realized that what I think that's what I feel and I said, let's try to change what I think So I realized okay Let's try to think about beautiful time in my life when I was, know, happy and I felt freedom So I took myself in a place in visual visualization. It wasn't really meditation that time I did
know how to meditate but I was like okay so let's try to pretend I'm there so I started to feel better
I felt like my body was actually relaxing and it was changing and I just felt this beautiful warm feeling and I was laying down bed I said wow nothing else changed only me only my thoughts changed so that was kind of the first Sparkle of like wow, okay. So what do we think? That's what we feel and it's actually true and and then I was able to sleep So I was actually I was changing my reality I was actually starting to sleep better and after like a year of being frozen in a fit
finally I was able to sleep when I'm alone at home and it was such a relieving and
I can't even explain how beautiful feeling it was because I was depleted. I was so depleted energetically and you know when you don't sleep your mind doesn't function and you get all negative and depressed and anxious and all the kind of things. So it was kind of great way to start. So that was when I realized that cognitive and emotional behavior all three levels has to change. So my behavior that has to change was every time when I was going to bed I was actually just trying to get to sleep with thinking and by
Sarah Jordan-Ross (21:02)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (21:18)
that beautiful good moment where I felt freedom and happy and joy and I felt great in my body. So what I was doing I had to create practice. So I started to practice a few different things what I'm visualizing, what I'm thinking, how am I thinking, when I'm thinking about it and that was kind of start of the CB method and I realized after doing that in different areas of life I slowly changed my identity, I slowly changed my personality basically.
And after probably a year, it took me a long time because it was kind of trial, know, trying new different things that nobody told you how to do. when that actually started to work, I was like, wow, okay, so I'm new person. My business is growing. My health is better. I'm happy. I call my family more often, you know, all these things like relationships started to change. And I think there was another part of that when I realized in leadership.
When you are not yourself, you don't know who you are, what you do or how you act, you try other people to change.
You tell them, you you need to, you need to be different. You need to be more fun. Like my husband, poor guy. It's like, you need to be more fun. You know, please just let's, let's lose some weight. You know, like we became these lazy people, you know, like, like let's, let's change that. And I was like, no, I'm not going to change anything. Right. But with me changing from my, you know, the shifts slowly and being more happy and starting to bring more healthy habits and all these things. So, so all the behavior has to be connected with, with your mindset shift and emotional shift.
Yeah, it just became absolutely amazing and my husband, he just basically followed me. I didn't need to tell him anymore what to do and he lost 16 kilos. He went back to his, you know, exercise and training. He loves his jujitsu and he was professional athlete. So for me, you know, seeing that person that is not even going to gym anymore.
it was my doing and I was like, wow, okay, so let's see how I can change it for me. And it was beautiful to see that. I always believe, when I started talking about conscious leadership is that it all starts with us.
It all starts internally within us if we know ourselves and have awareness about who we are, what we think, what we feel, how we behave and how we impact people. That's when everything changes and naturally people will be with us because if you know that you're impacting someone negatively, you need to change that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (23:44)
Yeah.
But sometimes it's, it's hard to pick up that, that mirror and look at ourselves. It's always so easy to look at the other person and go, you're the problem, you need to change. But the interesting thing is when we actually look at ourselves and make those changes that we're seeing need to happen around us in ourselves, then those changes happen around us without us.
Alex Terrey (23:51)
always.
Yeah.
Yeah, you said it perfectly. And I think there's another method that I realized that it's funny when you look at yourself in a situation with people and you just look at yourself from a helicopter view, like you're looking at yourself as a second or third person, right? So when you see yourself, if you don't know who you are, just look at it from above and watch yourself, basically. Just watch yourself like you're watching a movie. So watch yourself during the day, what you're doing, what you're saying, how you're feeling, and you realize who you are.
So it's almost like that psychologically we can disconnect and we can you know take the seed of observer and that was like no this is not me. So yeah it's hard I think it's always hard to look at ourselves and say yeah actually I'm the one right I'm the problem.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (24:57)
Yeah. But it's so worth it when we actually do, when we take that time to, as hard as it is to do that work and then we see beautiful changes happen around us. yeah, transformation doesn't happen instantly as much as we wish it would. It takes time to get from where you are to where you want to be. But also sometimes
Alex Terrey (25:19)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (25:27)
We lose ourselves in what's going on and it takes time to find ourselves again and to remember who we are and what it is that really does matter. Because it's so easy to get caught up in the crazy.
Alex Terrey (25:34)
Yeah.
I agree, absolutely. And it's so easy to lose ourselves and I agree. It's hard, especially when you are in business or you work hard, you have family and you're trying to take care of everyone. And when you're that person that really cares about people, you become second or third and easily you can lose everything. Who you used to be or who you want to be.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (26:06)
Okay, so you touched a little bit on conscious leadership and you're speaking at leadership week coming up in May. And you've got your work with the mentoring effect. So what is it that is lighting you up that's reminding you who you are and what you want to do? And where are you heading in the next couple of years?
Alex Terrey (26:16)
Yay!
Wow, it's actually funny because a few people already asked me that I never shared that and I was like, wow, this is coming to be very scary because I'm sharing my vision and I'm sharing that with people. So now I have to live it, right? So I realized it. Yes, exactly. It is actually really, because I think it's a little bit scary because I think I put myself in a situation that I put a little bit bigger goals, but now it's not coming from.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (26:43)
Nothing like accountability.
Alex Terrey (26:57)
what I was before, it was coming from, you know, I want to have more money, I want to be rich, I want to mean something, you know, all these things that were more that psychological level one or two, when you look at, you know, emotional evolution. And I realized that...
Sarah Jordan-Ross (27:04)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (27:12)
Today is not about money and money is just a side effect of everything what we do in the world. And what is really important for me, it's feeling, you know, the fulfillment and feeling the purpose and being with the right people. That's, that's the problem mantra I can talk about every day. It's like just meeting the right people, connect with right people and connect on a deeper, deeper level. So what really
really makes me happy is we are starting to do more like a retreat style and community building, but from perspective of making people finally to belong, to feel like they are listened, like we actually, are hearing them and we are not just being there and posting, but we are actually in the room with them and we are actually having conversations. So for me having the retreat with actually eight male, what was the very first time and
I didn't target it male or any kind of gender. just, you know, I was selling the retreat. It was interesting to come to the point that I realized that 50 plus, that was 49, you know, year old, 60 years old male.
are exactly people they were working hard all life, they were going through all the burnout and they are in the identity of provider, know, I have to provide for my family, I'm the one that needs to bring money and take care of kids, take care of wife and all this kind of like a seed of provider that is pushing them all life so hard and they lost themselves, they lost emotions, they don't know what they feel, they don't know what they like. ⁓ So many of them, they don't even have hobbies or, know, it just
doesn't work because they didn't have time. usually they go on holiday, but they can't even relax because they don't still need to feel like need to do and provide and create results. so that was such a beautiful space to be with people where they, cry, they laugh, you know, and they really truly became themselves again. And everybody was very different. And I just really thrive in that space because I was so connected. We were so deeply connected. And I realized that the
Sarah Jordan-Ross (28:53)
Yep.
Alex Terrey (29:21)
or the genius or my genius I don't like to call it genius but like the strength that I have was actually creating that safe space where people actually can come and they can talk they can feel they can do whatever they need to do and I'm kind of hungry for that now so for me it's like wow I want to experience that selfishly I want to experience it because it really truly made me happy made me like I'm at home and made me feel like I belong with these people and
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:46)
Yep.
Alex Terrey (29:50)
made me feel like they left and they felt great and that feeling that we were able to create experience was transformational for me. So that's kind of space where we are moving more and trying to see or show people that you can have communities, you can have your groups, you can have your group coaching, you can leverage, but you need to know how.
You need to have real structured conversations and dialogues. They don't look like they're structured, makes, make people feel and make people connected to you. So, so they, they feel like they are actually part of something because we're everywhere I went, every group I'm still part of some groups that I left most of them because I never felt like I mean something like I'm there and people even care. So if people feel like that around me,
I'm failing. I don't want anyone to feel that way. that's my kind of vision of creation. So we're creating experiences, retreats, ⁓ some crazy ones that when you come, actually you don't know what will happen. it's not going to be, ⁓ it's a mixture of, I would say...
smart spirituality, I don't know if I can call it that way, but we are not going to, you know, do strange things and dance naked or something, you know, or jump naked to the lake. Like we don't do that because I don't think that's part of spirituality. I believe spirituality is just being, you know, ethical human.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:06)
Ha ha ha.
Alex Terrey (31:18)
being connected to yourself, understanding who you are, being aware and build up on that awareness, what you want to become and dive deeper into your soul. think that's spirituality, right? Or being in a servant position, that's spirituality. Being conscious, that's spirituality. So I want to keep it in that boundaries. So don't expect some too many things, all science based tools and techniques.
The major thing is that create environments, create more of those environments, create more of those experiences. And yeah, the big vision is to create a space.
Right now I actually find something that is massive property, beautiful house and a beautiful place with massive greenery. And I'm honestly just trying to see what will happen because it costs around 20, 30 million. Like it's a little bit ridiculous, but I was thinking, look, it's achievable. And I'm hoping that I will meet people on the way in next few months and years that we will be able to connect and maybe co-invest and co-create because I believe that space
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:08)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (32:24)
should be open to everyone, know, everyone who is honest, who want to be open, who want to actually have those conversations. yeah, it's there.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:34)
That's very
and you're right so many ifs we're looking for like humans were hardwired for connection and So many we're searching for Belonging for that space to be Who we are? But I love how Brené Brown puts it that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing
Alex Terrey (33:00)
Yes, I love I love that you say that because fitting in it becomes very toxic Especially for you right like for us when we are trying to fit in I tried it all life when I when I moved to Perth I was trying to find myself by fitting in that is so wrong and and it was Detrimental because it cost me health It's not no and get you said it so well
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:03)
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then when you find that place where you belong, that's when you get lit up. That's when you then can create those changes and be more of who you are and bring more of that connection into the world. When you're constantly trying to be something that you're not and to fit into an environment that doesn't fit you. And I think that's something that a lot of women and a lot of women in leadership roles
would understand to like, I know my mom was the clerk of the court. So very male oriented field. I still love she had a sign up in her office that was, do you want to talk to the man who's in charge or the woman who knows what's going on? She just happened to be both of those. we do function very differently, depending on the groups that
that we're in and for a long time, way back when, I'll start showing my age, but if you wanted to be successful in those more male oriented fields, then you had to...
Alex Terrey (34:29)
You
Sarah Jordan-Ross (34:36)
be that little bit tougher, that little bit harder, not so much the relationship, the connection that wasn't always there, was just the getting the job done and that's it.
Alex Terrey (34:48)
Yeah. And
Sarah, there is one thing that I probably want to mention because there is a big problem when I'm looking at, because I'm usually connecting with general manager, CEO. So when you look at the C-suite level executives or higher management and 95,000 people are still male and that's okay. Look, it's evolution, right? We know that because there was totally different society, you know, 40, 50 years ago, you know, totally different approach when my mom, you know, was raising us.
And I believe we need to give that time because what we do, we as a female, we try to feed in adjustment. With that, what you said, I would probably disagree a little bit because we don't need to toughen up. The problem is that all female are trying to bring masculine energy in leadership role and we don't need that. We are actually in leadership role because of our feminine energy. It's combination of feminine and masculine. And I think what was happening here, I'm sure you saw it a lot, right? So it, there are beautiful women.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (35:42)
We need that balance.
Alex Terrey (35:47)
can they can beautifully manage and combine masculine and feminine really healthy and resourceful way and I think that's the winning part winning sauce but you have a lot of women that they think they need to be you know tougher and they became more directors right like they direct and they become it's it's toxic because it's too much masculine because because they don't know how to balance that how to actually be the right and I always said just be you
because you got the role because of you. So just continue being you because relationships and feminine energy, relationships with people can give you more than when people look at you and say, she's tough, right? Or she's good, she can, we trust her. I think having the clarity about vision, about yourself, being wherever you are as a leader.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (36:17)
Yep.
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (36:37)
Understanding what your strengths are that that brings the authenticity and when you're authentic leader I believe you people will follow you naturally because they will be like wow she believes in this So she must know something. I don't know right so some naturally people will follow and want to be around you the moment people try to fit in or pretend there's something else and Put the mask on of you know being ⁓ better bigger smarter tougher, whatever it is it becomes repelling so
Sarah Jordan-Ross (36:48)
Yeah.
Alex Terrey (37:07)
you know, moving to energy. We didn't talk about energy a lot, that's coming with identity shift, right? When you are identity, emotions, emotions are energy. So, so when you are something else and you try to push, it's actually causing a lot of stress as well, because you are putting mask on and you're stressing you out inside because you, you try to push different personality. And that's when we are losing our, you know, the, ⁓ I don't want to say capacity, but it is a little bit of, you know, a smartest, like if you don't get smart enough.
because as you said, know, fight or flight mode, depleting ⁓ the energy and the blood. So we are actually not using our intellect. So all these things actually combine. We know the best way to do live life is actually being authentic and being aware and building ourselves from inside out. So yeah, it's hard. Like in leadership, that's a lot of things. There are still a mix of beliefs, wrong beliefs and myths.
And building leadership as a skill, I think it's silly. think building leadership from understanding who I am, what is my leadership style, and how naturally I can be leader, you know, not fitting in but standing out as me, I think that's more powerful than anything.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (38:25)
Because
we don't all have to do it the same way. Because we're not made to. Each one of us has a special gift that only we can give to the world. And trying to do, like me trying to do things your way, it's not gonna work.
Alex Terrey (38:28)
Exactly.
Alright.
Yes, yeah, and I love what you said because that's the same thing with coaches, right? Like when you look at coaches and mentors, coaches here to not give you idea to do it one way. It's here to open your mind, open, you know, your blind spots. And I think that's where, I had a lot of business coaches and sometimes they were pushing me to do one thing one way. And I said, mate.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (38:47)
Mm.
Alex Terrey (39:05)
nine phone calls today not going to work for me because that's not me. I want to see these people and I will see one person but I will see them face to face that works for me. So it's you need to know yourself. That's the best thing right like we need to know ourselves I think that's the one.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (39:21)
a perfect thing to put on because one of the questions I always ask is what conversation do you think we're not having that we need to and I think what you were just speaking about of leadership and and doing things differently might just be one of those so do you want to unpack that a little bit more for us or if there's something else you want to talk about
Alex Terrey (39:46)
I what we don't talk about... Look,
I love your question because I think there is everything what we don't talk about, everything important. I think we don't talk about in any settings about anything important. Like we forget to open the conversations or we are scared to open the conversations. So...
All of us and I'm sure now everyone who is listening has something that you want to say, you want to express. It can be in your work environment. It can be with your husband, wife. It can be with your kids. But you're scared because you're worried because you're worried that you will hurt someone. I think we don't have those conversations and that those conversations are most important in our life, but also most important for the other person to hear that.
We are so scared to give feedback. The best friends, know, your brother, sister. We are so scared to tell them what we see. And if we start to share what we see kindly, with empathy, with respect, we will help people to grow. So I believe that's what we don't do.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (40:55)
When we ask ourselves, as you said at the start, what would love do? And holding back and not giving that feedback in a kind, loving way is not what love would do. Biting your tongue for fear of hurting someone, all it does is end up that you're the one that's hurting, because... And sometimes we do hold back for good reason, but...
Alex Terrey (41:01)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (41:23)
We then need to find a way to get that out as well. And we need to say those things that will help somebody because you never know when your story might be the thing that shifts everything for someone else.
Alex Terrey (41:39)
Absolutely.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (41:40)
But Alex, I'd like to thank you for being here today. I know we could both chat for ages because of our shared backgrounds in energy work and in holistic healing of combining all those aspects of ourselves together and working on that.
Alex Terrey (41:46)
Thank
Sarah Jordan-Ross (42:00)
We just might have to get you back for another episode.
Alex Terrey (42:05)
Sarah, I love the conversation and you ask amazing questions. It's really beautiful to unpack things that actually no one asked you even on podcasts or, you know, in life. So I really enjoyed it and enjoy to talk about what we don't talk about. And I think there is so many things we can talk about again. So thank you so much for having me. It's really pleasure to actually meet you ⁓ here in person almost.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (42:28)
Yes!
Alex Terrey (42:28)
And having a conversation,
not only listening to your podcast, but also having the real conversation and appreciate your authenticity.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (42:36)
Thank you. And that is why I started the podcast because I'd seen so many people going through similar experiences, but not talking about it and feeling so completely alone in what they were going through that I wanted to say, hey, there's lots of us who've been there. And if we start talking about it, we just might help each other. that's what we're going to keep doing.
Alex Terrey (43:02)
Absolutely.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (43:04)
For those of you that are tuning in today, if this episode hit home, then please share it with a friend, with a team, with somebody who might be stuck and needing to move forward. And it just needs that permission to do things a little differently, to do things their own way and find what works for them. So you'll find all of Alex's links in the show notes, including how to
connect with her, explore the CEB method or join her at Leadership Week. Alex is talking at a couple of conferences coming up soon. You've got Leadership Week and you've got ⁓ total corruption.
Alex Terrey (43:41)
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Total disruption.
Yeah, and there's a few others. So it's coming a little bit crazy April and May. we had anesthetic, have ⁓ doctors ⁓ and dental industries. So yeah, it's quite a busy time of the year, but it's exciting. Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (44:09)
And as always, if you're loving these conversations, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, reach out and tell me what's resonating, or even better, tell me what you want to talk about. Or if there's somebody that you want me to reach out to to have a conversation with, let me know that too. But until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other. Remember, you are not alone.
And your story really matters so please keep sharing it.
We'll see you next time.