In this episode of Taboo Talk with Sarah, we dive deep into the power of subconscious reprogramming, mindset shifts, and personal reinvention with transformation powerhouse Nicole Cowley. Nicole shares her personal journey from being a stay-at-home mom to becoming a multi-certified hypnotherapist, health coach, and life coach—and how she now helps women break free from limiting beliefs and step into their most empowered selves. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to take the next step toward the life you truly desire, this conversation is for you. We explore the impact of subconscious programming, the role of hypnotherapy in transformation, and why self-investment is not selfish but necessary. ✨ Plus, we tackle a topic that doesn’t get talked about enough: Why so many women struggle to ask for what they want—and how to shift that mindset for good
🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ The biggest mindset shift that helped Nicole reclaim her confidence and financial independence
✅ What hypnotherapy really is (hint: it’s NOT clucking like a chicken on stage!) and how it rewires limiting beliefs
✅ The subconscious stories and programs that keep women feeling stuck—and how to rewrite them
✅ Why so many women feel guilty about investing in themselves and how to break that cycle
✅ A simple first step you can take today to shift your mindset and reclaim your power
🎙️ Memorable Quotes:
💬 "The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and what you repeatedly tell it. So tell it a better story." – Nicole Cowley
💬 "If you want to live a different life, you have to start thinking differently. The same thoughts will only keep you where you are." – Sarah Jordan-Ross
💬 "Self-care isn’t selfish. The more you invest in your own happiness, the more you uplift everyone around you." – Nicole Cowley
⏳ Episode Timestamps:
[00:00] Welcome & Intro – Breaking the silence and fostering hope
[02:07] Nicole’s Journey – From stay-at-home mom to transformation expert
[04:38] What Hypnotherapy REALLY Is (Hint: No clucking like a chicken!)
[09:21] How Subconscious Programs Keep You Stuck – And how to break free
[16:54] The 'Midlife Awakening' for Women – What do YOU actually want?
[21:57] The #1 Topic That Needs to Be Talked About More – Why women struggle to ask for what they want
[30:05] First Steps to Take If You’re Feeling Stuck – How to shift your mindset today
[35:48] Where to Find Nicole – Next Step with Nicole Renee + upcoming workshops
[37:39] Closing Message – Your story matters. Please keep telling it.
✨ Resources & Links:
🔗 Nicole Cowley’s Website: nextstepwithnicolerenee.com
🔗 Nicole on Instagram: @NextStepWithNicoleRenee
🔗 Nicole on Facebook: Nicole Cowley
🔗 Nicole’s Thrive Academy Program: Learn More
🎧 Listen & Subscribe:
🔗 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/taboo-talk-with-sarah/id1789476543
🔗 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/64dHv8gL44z9vwOppZ3myg?si=DL2pezbKQdGznguYsDDP7g
🔗 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TabooTalkwithSarah\
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Until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and remember—your story matters. Please keep telling it. 💜
Sarah Jordan-Ross (00:00) The Tabby Talk with Sarah, the podcast where we break the silence, foster hope and dive into the conversations that don't get talked about enough. So today I'm joined by someone truly special, Nicole Cowley. Nicole's a powerhouse when it comes to transformation. She's a certified hypnotherapist, health coach, life coach and personal trainer. And she's helped countless women reclaim their confidence, break free from limiting beliefs and step into their most empowered selves.
Nicole's own journey is one of resilience and reinvention. And today she's here to share the mindset shifts, subconscious programming, and deep truths that can help you create lasting change in your life. We're also going to explore topics that don't get talked about enough. So stay tuned for that. Nicole and I initially connected through the LA Tribune, where she's a founding member of the Women's Journal. We're also both part of the Be Extraordinary Network, and I've loved her work for a long time.
And it's now an absolute honor and privilege to be able to call her a friend. And I am so excited that she's joining me today. But before we dive into today's episode, I want to take a minute to talk about something that's played a massive role in my own family's journey. And that's Fundamentals by Amari. As many of you know, my son Harrison was diagnosed with MS. As a parent, navigating that health journey has been both overwhelming and eye-opening.
And one of the biggest game changes for us has been understanding the gut brain connection and how vital it is to overall wellness. So fundamentals has helped support his health in ways we never imagined it's because it helps to support the gut microbiome and that connection between the gut and the brain. So if you're curious how it might help you or a loved one, check it out in the show notes.
back to today. Nicole, I am so, so excited to have you here.
Nicole Cowley (02:02)
Thank you, I'm so excited to be here.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (02:03)
Thank you so
much.
Big questions to start with. your journey from a stay at home mom to now a multi certified coach and hypnotherapist. What was the biggest mindset shift that changed everything for you? And how do think others can start their own transformation?
Nicole Cowley (02:07)
Mmm.
I'm feeling...
Mmm, such a good question. The biggest mindset shift. I think, you know, a lot of this happened out of necessity at the time. I, you know, I was a stay at home mom and almost overnight I became a single mom and I didn't have an income, a job. I, you know, I had, I had worked before I had had my children, but you know, it had been eight years. And so I was like, I, I don't know where I'm even going to start. And
So, you know, I think it wasn't like something that just happened instantly and mindset shift that happened instantly. It was really about, you know, a community of people, first of all, coming in to help me out. I think that was like number one was people came in to help me start to rise. But from there, when I started to rise and do different things that
I started with a direct marketing company actually, so that was like really exciting for me. I had the most amazing community of women there lift me up. And what happened because of that was the confidence I started to build. I started to build my own business, started to build a large team, and that confidence alone started getting me dreaming again. And I think that's one of the most essential things is to build some deep confidence right off the bat. Like, what can I do with where I'm at right now?
shine a light on it, and then from there be able to take some of the leaps that you need to take. Because I don't think it happens all at once, but I do believe that when you get just that little bit of success, it opens you up to dreaming again.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (03:56)
And it takes that time to find that spot and to do that.
Nicole Cowley (04:01)
Mm-hmm, 100%.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:04)
then, I want to talk a little bit about hypnotherapy and the role that that played, because it can be a really powerful tool for breaking patterns and creating that change. So can you tell us a bit about how it works and maybe share an example? Because I know lots of people, when they hear hypnotherapy, they get a little bit... and think... or they think, yep, somebody's going to make me fuck like a chicken.
Nicole Cowley (04:14)
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:32)
or that sort of stuff and it's really really not like that.
Nicole Cowley (04:38)
No, and thank
you, thank you. No, it's so true and I love that you brought that up. know, years ago when I was introduced to hypnotherapy, I actually, you know, thought it was pretty woo, like it was pretty out there and I really only knew it from...
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:53)
You
Nicole Cowley (04:58)
know, hypnotists on stage and that was the ones that made people cluck like a chicken and do things that they didn't necessarily want to do. And so that's the only thing I knew about hypnotherapy. But what I do is transformational hypnotherapy, which is way different than what you will see on stages. And so what hypnotherapy really is, it's a reprogramming of your beliefs and your mind in many ways. And most of the time what I'm doing is un-hypnotizing people.
So what has happened in our lives is, you know, we've grown up a certain way with our parents, teachers, associations, know, coaches, things that have been in our life. And from that time in our life, we took on many different stories of what is possible in life, who we are, what we can do. And some of the stories served us very well and we got us to where we are right now. And, you know, with any success that you're having in your life, some of them are so
those beliefs that you took on were so imperative and so important. But then there's other programs and beliefs that we have that are not serving us and often are not our own. They're most of the time beliefs that we had from our parents or from teachers, which were often very well-meaning, but because they were doing things to protect us from their own place of needing to be protected too. And so we will take on stories of what their stories are in order to create
the life that they would love for us. But many, many times those stories, like I said, don't really serve us. So, Hypnotherapy really is, it helps, what it helps do is open. So we have the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is the part of our mind that has, it's like a program. It has all our stories, our beliefs, emotions, all of that in there playing over and over every single day.
to create our life and actually to make life easier. If we had to learn how to drive a car every single day, if we had to learn how to wash ourselves in the shower, do all the things, it would be really hard, right? So it has to every day, right? No.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (07:04)
Yeah, I can't imagine having to relearn everything all the time. would be crazy. Even
when Harrison first, like watching him relearn how to do all those things, like he had to learn how to walk again. And it was just so, so hard for him. But yeah, if we had to do all of those things that we do automatically, if we actually had to think about it, I don't think what we'd be doing. Yeah.
Nicole Cowley (07:17)
Hmmmm
my God. No. And so it's
imperative that we have that part of our mind to be able to do the things that we need to do. But those are programs. So some of our programs are amazing because they are like we can drive a car, we can do the things that we need to do that, you know, that are automatic. So we don't have to think about it all the time. It's not as exhausting. But the things that we do automatically that we don't know about, which is like beliefs of like how worthy we are or
what is possible in our life or you know how I show up like the type of person I am, the identity I have. They're always playing underneath all of the things that we are doing and we don't even recognize it. That's why it's called subconscious. And so sometimes we will want to go and do amazing things like let's say even just going to become our fittest self, right? We can go to the gym and become our fittest self. And we start off really amazing because our conscious mind knows that this is what we would love and
The conscious mind is at the planning mind. It's the one that makes the decisions every day of what we're going to do. And so it's like, let's do this. I love it. And what happens a lot of times is your subconscious mind is playing behind it. And so you start off doing great. You may be going to the gym every day and you're like, I'm so impressed with myself. I'm starting to do the things. And then one day comes and you may have been out a little late at night and you're like, I'm just going to take today off. I'm just tired.
And then the next day comes and you're like, I just have so much to do today. I'll do it again tomorrow. And then it comes the next day, right? Right. It continues, right? And so what happens though, lots of times is we may have an underlying belief of what is possible for us. I've had so many clients that their underlying belief was, I'm not a committed person. It's not who I am. I start things and I stop things.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:00)
and the excuses start coming and that derailment just continues.
Nicole Cowley (09:21)
and that is actually who I believe I am. So if I'm going to continue doing all the things and sticking to the routine at the gym, that would be really against who I am. And the mind tries to always bring you back to what is familiar. It will always bring you back because the number one job of the mind is to keep you safe. To keep you safe. So even though...
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:42)
Keep you safe.
Nicole Cowley (09:47)
Working out of the gym is like the best thing you could do for yourself right now. It's the thing that will give you all the energy and all of that. The mind is like, we haven't done this. This is not who we are. So let's not do this because it could be dangerous. It could be, we don't know what the result is on the other side. I want you just to stay safe. So let's just sabotage this right now and bring you back to your regular way of being, which we know, we know that so well and we'll be fine. And so what hypnotherapy
does, it's kind of a long story to get you there, but what Hypnotherapy does is it helps you start to create the identity, the beliefs, the programs you need in order to create the life that you truly desire. Because every single dream we have, every vision we have has a certain identity attached to it, a certain person that would show up and be that person, create that dream. And many times,
We will have that dream, it's on our heart and it's meant for us. It is absolutely meant for us. But we have beliefs that will not allow us to get there. So what hypnotherapy does is help you create the beliefs, the identity, the traits, the personality, the attitude in order to create the dream you have. it is, for me, it has been truly transformative, not only for myself, but for my clients. It is the one thing
Besides, I move people's bodies too, so that's a huge part of it too, but the mindset piece of learning how to reprogram those stories and taking action, like actually taking action with your new beliefs is where the transformation lasts and stays.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (11:32)
because it's definitely it's one thing to know that stuff and to be starting to to work on those things. But unless you actually take action and make those changes, eventually it's going to pull you back to exactly where you were. Because even if it's uncomfortable, we tend to get comfortable with that uncomfortableness. It's like, yeah, but it's familiar. It's safe. I'll just stay stuck. So it's great that
Nicole Cowley (11:48)
Yeah.
We do.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (12:01)
There are so many tools out there now that can help us break through those things that, and so often those thoughts, we don't know where they come from. They're not ours and they just limit us and it's great to see that that doesn't have to be the way that it is. So.
Nicole Cowley (12:03)
With me.
No, I think,
you know, what a lot of people think is when we get to a certain point in our life, we're stuck. Like, this is what we have. This is our lot in life. This is like, you know, this is who I am and it's only who I can be. And it can cause a lot of sadness because we have these dreams on our heart. I believe as humans, we were born to grow. We were born to evolve, to change, to help others, to do all these things.
And when we feel that we can't do anything past where we are right now, that we are stuck, it can be extremely hard on the heart. And it's that gap. I always talk about the gap. It's that where I am right now to where I want to be seems so hard and big. But that's what I do is I bridge the gap. I'm the bridge to get you over to where you truly want to be.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (13:09)
so many women in particular and similar to you when you did go from being a stay at home mum to then I've now got to get an income I've got to start supporting my kids doing all of that and we sometimes get stuck or we struggle to to move past that and then our feelings of self-worth and our fear of starting over or feeling
Nicole Cowley (13:21)
my god.
of you.
Hmm
Sarah Jordan-Ross (13:38)
stuck, gets in our way. So what are some of the most common subconscious blocks that you've seen or people apart from that being comfortable with the uncomfortable and that our mind automatically defaults to let's keep you safe, let's stay with what's familiar. Then how do you actually help them move past that? How do you create that bridge that takes them from where they are to where they want to be?
Nicole Cowley (14:07)
Yeah, well first we get very, very clear. We look at their life right now. So we take a really good look at where you are right now. Like your, our lives are a printout of how we've been thinking for many, many years. If you look at your income, if you look at your health, if you look at your relationships, all of those things, if you were to take a real good look at them, they are all evidence of how you've been thinking for a long time. So we take a really good look at that. We get very clear.
on where we are right now because if we want to get somewhere we need to know where we are first in order to get there. We need to be able to measure it see where we want to go. The next thing I always do with them is get really clear on their vision. I think, you know, I work a lot with women that are like approaching 40 or, you know, 40 and over and so many women and amazing women, you know, when they did all the things they...
They went to school, university, they got their degrees, they met the person, you know, they fell in love, they got their house, they had children. And then somewhere along the way, though, they never asked themselves what they wanted. They never really sat there and asked, what is it that I truly want in my life? They've been so busy following the pattern of the things that we were supposed to do, like just do the things.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (15:22)
taking care of everybody else.
Nicole Cowley (15:28)
And that's a program in itself, right? Like that is a program already in itself. But we get so busy with that. And women are nurturers, I think, at the heart of what we do. Like we are, we love taking care of people in so many ways. And so we're taking care of our children, we're taking care of our spouses, we're taking care of our extended family, parents, right? We're taking care of everybody that often we lose ourself during this time. And I find it's always right around the 40 mark and it's
And I always laugh because, you know, I think women don't like to really say, you know, a midlife crisis, because I don't think it's that at all. I think it's more a midlife awakening. It's like, I'm finally like here. My kids might even be getting a bit older. And now I'm like trying to figure out what is it that I love? Like, what do I even want? So we start with a vision. We start really creating a vision of what they want, because without a vision, you're waking up every day and you're in the same routine, creating the same life.
all the time. But when you have a vision, yeah, you just go through the motions, right? Like you get the kids up, you feed them, they go off to school, you go to extracurricular activities, you have dinner, you get them ready for bed, and off you go to sleep. And next day, same thing, right? It starts all over again. And so without a vision of where you want to go, you're not going to change your life very much, right? But when you have a vision that's pulling you forward that you're like super excited about,
Sarah Jordan-Ross (16:27)
just going through the motions.
It starts all over again. Yeah.
Nicole Cowley (16:54)
you start to change your patterns. You start to see who you need to be in order to create the life you want. And in order to create the life you want, you often have to think differently. The way we've been thinking for a long time has created exactly the life we have. So if we want something different, we have to create something different. So what I start to do is I find out the dreams that they want, and then I find out what's holding them back from creating those dreams. So we really get into the stories that aren't serving them anymore.
And then we start to get into the stories that they need to create in order to be who they want to be. And where hypnosis comes in in this is that I build out hypnosis tracks that are 100 % personal for many of my one-to-one clients, but it tailors it to the dream that they want to have. So in our mind, if we can visualize the life that we truly want to have and we play it over and over and over.
Every day, every day, you play it over for like 10 to 15 minutes, you see it over and over. The mind starts to find ways to make it happen. It doesn't know what's beautiful about the subconscious mind is it doesn't know what's real or what isn't real. It just knows what you tell it over and over and over again. So if we tell it all the stories of who we want to be and who we most likely truly are, like that is actually when we want to do these things. It's who we are. I'm just bringing you back to who you really are.
But if you play them over and over again, and then we take a lined action with the beliefs. So I often give the example, if you want to be strong and healthy, and you sit on a couch with your fingers like you're like, you know, meditating and being like, I'm strong and healthy, I'm strong and healthy, and you use those affirmations, you're sitting there, but you don't get up and move, those affirmations are no longer true. You can say it to yourself as much as you want, but you will not believe it yourself.
But let's just say that every single day you got up and you walked for 10 minutes a day and you repeated, am strong and I'm healthy. I am strong and I'm healthy. The action of the walking is like, yes, I am. I am walking. I am strong and I am healthy. I am doing the thing. And it becomes who you are. And when your thoughts or your affirmations become who you are, that's when life becomes easy.
way easier than it was because you can think of anything you do and I want you to think about it for you Sarah, like anything that you do that's super easy, it's easy often because it's who we are. We have no question, it's like I, it's what I do. It's easy and many people would not think it's easy but it is for you because it's who you are. And so this is how the process works and I create the stories, the identity, the person so that it becomes who they are.
and it becomes habitual and no longer something they have to work really hard at to be.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (19:53)
I think that's the interesting thing with working with women and women in that 40 to 50 age group. Yeah, we've done all the things and then we've raised the little kids and now it's like, okay, if I'm not mum, who am I? So it's remembering sometimes who you are or that finding what it is you really want in the midst of
Nicole Cowley (20:12)
my gosh.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (20:23)
all of that. But I was lucky I had a career that I loved for 25 years. was a remedial massage therapist and spa therapist for 25 years. It took me around the world. I also have a degree in biology behind that. love the science of it. I love helping people. But the simple reality for me was I'm not 20 anymore. I can't do
Nicole Cowley (20:24)
Hello.
I'm out.
Wow.
Amazing. Amazing.
you
Sarah Jordan-Ross (20:52)
five or six massages a day, five or six days a week. I'm a lot closer to 50 than I am to 20. And so, so then it's the, okay, if I'm not massaging anymore, what can I do? And it was the, well, I've got 25 years of accumulated knowledge in a few different fields. So can take that and shift, but it was the
Nicole Cowley (20:58)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (21:20)
Yeah. Finding again, what lights that spark? What?
Nicole Cowley (21:26)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (21:28)
Like starting a podcast, it's like, what's the deal with that? it was the,
Nicole Cowley (21:28)
It's so true. Yeah, it's so true.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (21:34)
yeah. And part of what that was was I see all the time, there's so much happening and so many people going through similar things, but we don't talk about it. So we like having those conversations about the stuff that doesn't get talked about enough. So from your experience, whether it's in
Nicole Cowley (21:53)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (21:57)
personal growth or health or mindset, what do you think is something that really needs to get talked about? Really needs to be brought out into the open.
Nicole Cowley (22:08)
Yeah, you know, I think for a long time, one of the things that I think wasn't talked enough about for women is being able to ask for what you want and not feel the guilt or the shame around it. To be able to do the things that you truly want to do without feeling like you're taking away from somebody or you're not being able to do what you want to do.
I think sometimes there's been a lot of that when I talk to a lot of my clients. They feel even guilty sometimes, you know, ongoing for their haircuts or, you know, getting a massage or, you know, or like taking personal development courses or anything. They're so willing to invest in everybody else. But when it comes to them, they often put themselves last. And so I think like one of the things that's hard to talk about and maybe it's because
There's been the word selfish before that comes up with this, like you're being selfish, and you're not doing things for others. But what I truly believe is that when women fill themselves up with joy and happiness and purpose and life and vitality and health, all these things that all the people in their lives get that ripple effect, which is going to make them do so much better in life too.
And but when we don't do it, I feel like, you know, we're just not bringing the joy every day. We're not bringing the happiness. We're bringing sometimes regret. We're bringing sadness, maybe exhaustion because we're just not truly living into who we want to be. We're bringing a lot of overwhelm. And so even though we're thinking we're helping everybody by not investing in ourselves and doing things for everyone else, we're actually doing the opposite of that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (23:58)
I agree, I see it all the time and something I've said to lots of people over the years is those people that need like, we've gotta look after everybody else, taking time for ourselves. But if you flip it, if you think about it, what happens to those people that you're looking after if you collapse in a screaming hate because you haven't been looking after yourself? So what's the selfish thing? Is it pushing through doing
everything for everybody else and collapsing in a screaming heap so then they're they're pretty much screwed or is it taking that time to fill up your own cup so that then you can actually pour from the overflow and be there for them more and show up as who you really are not this empty shell of what's left over when you've given everything you've got to everybody else so
Nicole Cowley (24:32)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you know, I agree so deeply with what you were just saying. And, you know, I think like, why are we settling? Why is that even something that we have to do? Settle in life just because settling. And one thing I learned, you know, having to start over, one of my beliefs when I was married and really caused a lot of my inner conflict was that
I wanted to work again. I wanted to create again. I wanted to do these things. And I was a stay-at-home mom. My mom had been a stay-at-home mom. My mother-in-law was a stay-at-home mom. And I had these feelings of that I couldn't do what I truly wanted to do, like to work and do the things and be a good mom at the same time. I had this belief that I couldn't do both. so I, total mom gilts. And I had it big. And so I would sit and dream lost times of the things I would love to do.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (25:38)
Mom kill.
Nicole Cowley (25:46)
yet I wasn't doing them and I didn't think it was possible. And what is so interesting is that my hand got forced through the end of my marriage. I didn't have an option anymore. So the universe was probably listening to me in some way, some shape and form. But what is so interesting, yes, isn't it true? It's so true. But what was really interesting about this is that my children, I think, are thriving more now.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (26:01)
usually does.
Nicole Cowley (26:11)
with me doing what I am doing now than if I would have stayed in the place that I was because they've now had to learn how to do things, more things on their own than they'd ever had to do before. And what I'm watching them do is step into who they are. And I probably, because I coddled them a lot when they were little, I was with them all the time. And now it's just so interesting. I have a different view.
on me being independent and doing things and them having to be more independent as well because all I can see, yes, mean divorce is not where I would ask anybody to go to you to, you know, to lift you up and to do the things. But what it has done is they have had to really grow. They've had to change, like grow into their own selves. They were a team now. Like we're not, it's not me doing everything around the house. They helped me around the house. They helped me.
You know, they help me in my business. I go to them and I talk to things about my business like we are a team. And that to me has changed my thoughts so much. And I'm really actually super grateful for it because I'm watching them blossom and I will know like I know they're going to be OK on their own. They're going to be OK. And so if there's any gifts out of that, like when you invest in yourself and you do things for you, the other people have to invest in themselves too.
and everything changes from that point forth.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (27:35)
But leading by example, showing them what is possible and doing that. making those shifts and being, I've long believed that every bad experience or every difficult thing that we go through, like some of the stuff that you've been through, that I've been through, we wouldn't wish it on anybody. But at the same time, if you could go back and
choose not to have that experience. I don't think that's the choice you'd make either because out of it you got some really great things even if it was just the hey my kids don't need me to do absolutely everything for them they're perfectly capable little humans and I should help them to be more capable by showing them that hey you can do it yourself you know or even yeah that
Nicole Cowley (28:29)
100%.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (28:31)
Every situation has a silver lining to it. It's just sometimes we've got to look a little harder.
Nicole Cowley (28:38)
Yes, I agree. And you know, to tell you the truth, today I am so grateful for the life I lead. If I would have still probably been in a marriage, I don't think I would have been pursuing any of the things that I've pursued and found my passion. Like I literally found my passion because I had to find me again. And when I found me again, that's when everything started to open up.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:05)
Yeah. When you were truly who you were, when you remembered who you were made to be. Okay. Sorry. But finding that, that can be really overwhelming at the start. It's the, what do I do? So if somebody listening is stuck in that cycle of self doubt and limiting beliefs, what do you think the first step that they could take today to shift their mindset and reclaim their power could be?
Nicole Cowley (29:09)
Yeah.
100%. 100%.
Yeah, you know, it's not a comfortable place to be, right? When you're feeling really stuck, it's not a great place to be. You know, the first thing I would ask them to do though, is to take a few deep breaths, like really heartfelt deep breaths. Like I often have people do these, the five, five, seven breath, but it's just the inhale for five, hold it for five, and exhale for seven. Because when we're in fight and flight, which often we feel when we're stuck, we're usually in a place of like,
Sarah Jordan-Ross (30:04)
Yeah.
Nicole Cowley (30:05)
I can't see out any further than right in front of my face right now. Like I just can't see anything else. yes, and that's it, right? You're in fight and flight. Like you just, you're in a constant state of stress. And so when we're in a constant state of stress, all our creativity, all that is possible shuts down. And so what I usually recommend, you're in a complete survival mode. So what we need to do is we first need to calm our nervous system.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (30:11)
And all I can see is the saber-toothed tiger that's chasing me.
We're going to survival mode.
Nicole Cowley (30:34)
We need to take those deep breaths and this is we do this in hypnosis too because that's a way of allowing the body to rest and heal. So we take that those deep deep breaths and then I would do like four or five cycles of those until you start to feel calm. And then I would write down on a piece of paper, what would I love? What do I want? I think that's the one first question we need to always ask ourselves is what would I actually love?
And not from a place of that I'm not good enough, not from a place that I need to be more. But what would I just actually love in my life? Maybe it's, you know, I need more time or I want to be making more money or I want to be in a certain relationship or I want to feel healthy again. But I think just calming yourself down first, taking those deep breaths, asking what you would love. And then really what I highly, highly suggest
is finding a mentor or a coach to help you walk through this. Because our minds are really powerful. And when we try to do things all alone, like an island on our own, it can be so hard to implement things. either finding a mentor or a coach, could be listening to even podcasts that start to light you up, right? Like this, like listening to this today could be one of those first steps where you're like, I'm opening my mind.
to seeing different things, right? So you have your podcasts, you have your YouTube videos, you have books, and then you have coaches and mentors that are there to help you out. But I truly believe that if you're feeling stuck, it's actually a good sign because it means that you're ready for the next level in your life. It means that you're ready for more. And I think if we can really see that from a place of like, it's not a horrible thing, it's actually my body is, everything's trying to tell me.
that it's time for something different, something new.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:30)
and it's time to listen. Because our body talks to us all the time. We just don't always listen. we try to do so much all by ourselves. That's what I think. Being part of a community, like finding that place where you fit and where you can just be who you are and where you're at is really, really important. So, yeah.
Nicole Cowley (32:32)
Time to listen.
all the time.
Hmm hmm.
So important. So
important.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:58)
Yeah, we
weren't supposed to do things all by ourselves.
Nicole Cowley (33:01)
No, we were
not. And yet so many of us feel guilt in asking for help or see it as a weakness. And I truly believe when you're asking for help, it's your biggest strength. it's strongest thing you can do.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:14)
It's the strongest thing you can do. Yeah. It's the,
I can't do it all myself. I need some help. And actually admitting, I'm not Superwoman. I can't do everything.
Nicole Cowley (33:28)
No, we can't. Nor should we. Nor should we.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:30)
and yeah.
Even your superheroes, do stuff together.
Nicole Cowley (33:37)
They do, it's so true. It is so true.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:41)
They did so much more together than any of them did by themselves too. And it doesn't matter which comic books you like, there's the Avengers or there's Justice League, they both did it.
Nicole Cowley (33:46)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I...
It's so true. It is so true. And you know, when you surround yourself with incredible people who believe in you and lift you up, that's when you move. That is when you move. Because you feel supported, you feel loved, you feel seen, you feel heard. And when you're often alone, you just have yourself, that mind of yours that's trying to keep you safe from not doing anything extra outside of you.
But when you have a team of people that can see you often before you've even seen yourself believe in you before you believed in yourself, you can move so much faster. you know, and with love and support, and it's so good for the nervous system too, is to be around people who actually feel the same way as you do.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (34:36)
something that we become the some of the five people that we hang around the most so make sure that those people that you're hanging around are actually ones who lift you up and make you see what's possible so
Thank you so much for being here today. I love how you just have made it feel like that transformation is actually possible Like that we can we can make those changes and we can do it together
Nicole Cowley (35:09)
Yes, I've seen it time and
time again and many, many, many of my clients have done incredible things and to watch them fly now and live into that purpose and passion and, you know, do things that they actually never even thought were possible. Those are the moments that you know that life can only be what we decide it's going to be and I'm so grateful for those moments.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (35:35)
I'm so grateful for you having shared your wisdom with us today. So for anyone listening that this conversation has sparked something in them and they wanna know more, where can they find you?
Nicole Cowley (35:48)
Well, they can find me. my company name is Next Step with Nicole Renee. So you can find me at nextstepwithnicholerenee.com. You can find me on Instagram under Next Step with Nicole Renee, on LinkedIn with Next Step with Nicole Renee, and on Facebook under Nicole Cowley. But you can find me in all those places. I also usually do monthly master classes and workshops. So you can come in and get a taste of what this transformation is like.
And I do, I do, I do have one in a couple days. So I'm super excited about that. It's called Rediscovering Amazing Self. Yes, I'm so excited to have you there. So this one's called Rediscovering Your Amazing Self because I truly believe every woman has this beautiful, amazing self that she just is longing to connect to. And so we're going to be doing that. And I have also another program that's coming up called Thrive Academy. Thrive Academy is probably
Sarah Jordan-Ross (36:18)
You've got one coming up in a couple of days, don't you? Yep.
booktune for that one.
Nicole Cowley (36:46)
One of my favorite things in the whole world. I help you not only in your body, your mind, all of the things coming back to who you truly need to be. It's got your personal trainer, health coach, life coach, mindset coach, all in one package. But all of these things are there to help inspire you and live your best life. Because when you're living your best life, all the people around you do too.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (37:09)
Yes, because it has that knock on effect. So to everyone listening, I hope this episode has given you some new insights and inspired you to take that next step on your journey that Nicole's helped you to see that making those changes and living the life that you truly want is possible. So if you enjoyed this conversation, please subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs it, maybe even leave a review because that
Nicole Cowley (37:11)
It does.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (37:39)
helps us to reach more people who need to hear these messages. Don't forget to check out Fundamentals by Amari if you or someone you love is struggling with stress, anxiety, chronic health challenges, might be the missing piece in your wellness journey, but also check out Hypnotherapy, check out those different things that we can do to help ourselves. You'll find more details on those kind of things in the show notes.
Until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other and remember your story matters so please, please keep telling it. Because we need to hear those stories, they're what lifts us up. if there's anything that you'd like to see in upcoming episodes, please...
let us know because we like talking about stuff that nobody else talks about. And again, Nicole Cowley, thank you so, so much for being with us today.
Nicole Cowley (38:46)
Thank you, Sarah. It's been an honor to be here and I love all that you're doing. I'm just like so excited for all the amazing people you will have on sharing incredible stories. So thank you so much, Sarah.