What happens when life knocks you down so hard you don’t think you can get back up? In this raw and powerful episode of Taboo Talk with Sarah, I sit down with Craig Whitney, also known as The Second Chance Man, to explore resilience, redemption, and the courage it takes to rebuild life after hitting rock bottom. Craig shares his deeply personal story of loss, shame, and transformation, revealing the moment that forced him to confront his reality and the steps he took to turn his life around. Together, we talk about why men struggle to ask for help, how societal expectations shape our mental health, and what it really takes to embrace a second chance. 💜 If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’ve run out of options, this conversation is for you. You are not alone, and there is always a way forward.
✔️ Breaking the Cycle of Silence – Why so many men struggle to ask for help and the cost of staying silent
✔️ The Rock Bottom Moment – Craig’s powerful story of loss, shame, and the wake-up call that changed everything
✔️ Rebuilding After Crisis – The mindset shifts and small steps that helped Craig reclaim his life
✔️ The Importance of Brotherhood – How men’s groups and community support can be life-saving
✔️ RAGE: The Framework for Transformation – Craig’s 4-step method for turning pain into purpose
🗣️ “We were never meant to go through life alone, yet somewhere along the way, men were told to tough it out and suffer in silence.”
🗣️ “I had to make a choice—stay in the darkness or take one small step toward rebuilding my life.”
🗣️ “Second chances aren’t just about bouncing back. They’re about rising stronger, wiser, and more intentional than before.”
⏱ 00:00 – Welcome & Introduction to Craig Whitney
⏱ 05:30 – The Moment That Changed Everything: Craig’s Story of Rock Bottom
⏱ 12:45 – Why Men Struggle to Ask for Help & The Role of Society
⏱ 18:10 – How Craig Started Rebuilding His Life, One Small Step at a Time
⏱ 22:35 – The Power of Brotherhood & Why Men Need a Pack
⏱ 28:50 – The RAGE Formula: Recognizing Blind Spots & Reclaiming Purpose
⏱ 33:20 – Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone
✔️ The Second Chance Man – Craig’s coaching program helping men navigate crisis and change
✔️ The Resilience Project – A community designed to help men find strength, support, and purpose
✔️ Phoenix Rising Coaching – Craig’s transformational coaching program for men
✔️ Mental Health Support Services – If this episode brought up heavy emotions, please reach out:
National Support Services (Australia):
📞 Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 | Lifeline Online Chat
📞 Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636 | Beyond Blue Online Chat
📞 Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467 | Suicide Callback Online
📞 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800 | Kids Helpline Online
Tasmania-Specific Support:
📞 Access Mental Health Helpline – 1800 332 388 | More Information
📞 Emergency Services – In crisis, call 000
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📌 Subscribe & leave a review to help us reach more people with these life-changing conversations.
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📍 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify & YouTube!
Sarah Jordan-Ross (00:01) And welcome back to Taboo Talk with Sarah, the podcast that breaks the silence, fosters hope and tackles the tough conversations so you never have to feel alone. If you're new here, I'm Sarah. I'm a wife, mum to three amazing boys and someone who knows firsthand the power of resilience, healing and community. This podcast is a space to talk about the things that often go unspoken. Mental wellness, grief, transformation, the real raw journeys of life.
Today I'm joined by someone who deeply understands the power of second chances, Craig Whitney. He is the second chance man. Craig is a dedicated coach who helps men navigate through crisis, change and the challenges that come with redefining their lives. His mission is about giving them the tools, the mindset and the support they need to step into a new chapter, a healthier, stronger and more aligned one. Together today we'll explore
the challenges men face in prioritizing their health, the courage it takes to make necessary life changes, how to embrace those second chances and create a new path forward. So if you or someone you love has ever felt stuck, overwhelmed or like you've run out of options, this episode's for you. Craig, welcome. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Craig Whitney (01:23)
Thank you, thank you. Yeah, glad to be part of the show.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (01:28)
Thank you. So we'll dive straight into the questions So can you share with us the moment that led you to become the second-chance man? What was going on that ignited your passion for coaching men through crisis?
Craig Whitney (01:45)
What was going on for me, it was a moment back in 2017 where I had my catalyst, my own very catalyst of change where ultimately I made the mistake which peeled back and destroyed the current world that I was in. The reality check that come home. I acted out in a way that did not align with my values or should have aligned with anyone's values.
anger, violence and I accept that ownership fully which then led to months and months in and out of court through the justice system up here in Queensland which ultimately ended up me being sentenced in September 2018 so the responsibility
and the peeling away of layers which then I was shamed heavily through the mainstream media reputation I lost everything three charges and no criminal conviction for that case thankfully but it was all the shame that literally destroyed my world in that moment however as I look back it's it needed it to happen
That was the catalyst that started it all. I was already in personal development, but it was like reading something to feed my ego. I was walking around covering a man who was about to destroy himself with flowery quotes and buying all these books out of desperation for help when I wasn't reaching out for help. It was like putting a bandaid on a bleeding artery and ultimately it exploded.
So that was that moment.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (03:35)
big shifts and sometimes that's the hard thing is that we have to hit rock bottom before we can then build ourselves back up. And sometimes we do walk around with that mask on pretending that everything's okay or finding those band-aid solutions that make it better temporarily. But long-term, if we don't...
deal with what's going on. We keep having the same old problems. So why do you think that happens? And particularly with men. And you said it, you were looking for help but you didn't go out and ask for it. And I hear that a lot, men don't.
Craig Whitney (04:08)
happens.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (04:25)
So why is it you think they struggle so much with asking for help, particularly when it comes to their health and wellbeing?
Craig Whitney (04:32)
It's conditioned to us as boys from our fathers and it's not our fathers fault. Our fathers are doing the best they can with the resources that they have and they're taught by their fathers. So it's generational conditioning that if men ask for help, they're seen as weak. However, if you look back in history, men hunted in tribes. We relied on one another as a team to bring home the food.
or the forage, otherwise the tribe wouldn't survive. So somewhere along from, yeah, exactly, somewhere from our prehistoric primitive age, where we were small community, even cave dwelling tribes, or even more hunter gatherer, somewhere where the modernization or modernity come in is where that stopped.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (05:06)
No man is an island.
still there.
Craig Whitney (05:28)
and then men
went from tribal sort of community based. I'm still here.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (05:33)
Yeah.
Sorry, we're just having some issues with the audio.
Craig Whitney (05:36)
Am I in?
Testing, one, two. All right, we're here. It's a bit like that, right? It's a bit like that tech glitch, right? Somewhere from the ancient primitive age of tribes and gathering in nomadic society, we dropped out and we come into modernity and men have gone from leaders and community dwellers of tribes to single lone wolf mentality style leaders of themselves.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (05:40)
Yeah, it just you dropped out for a second.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Craig Whitney (06:10)
and the old adage goes, well no man is an island.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (06:14)
And I don't think it's serving you very well.
Craig Whitney (06:16)
No. As men we need a pack. We need a band of brothers.
We need a tribe.
And without that, the lone wolf dies a miserable death.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (06:22)
Yeah, we do.
Craig Whitney (06:26)
mean, history has so much evidence of that.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (06:30)
Yes, he does.
Yes, but quite often we ignore the lessons of history and we're doing to repeat them.
So do you think there's something with vulnerability being seen as weakness? And how do you encourage men to embrace it as a strength instead in their personal journey? To go from that lone wolf to more connected?
Craig Whitney (07:00)
Vulnerability is power.
in certain places.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (07:04)
you
Craig Whitney (07:07)
So it's important for a man on his journey to recognize that and be aware of when to be vulnerable because there's times when he's not to be vulnerable and where vulnerability is shown as a weakness and it becomes back to what spaces or what circles that he shares that power in.
I'll give you an example, he wouldn't shit be a man or never become vulnerable in a space where he'd be shamed. Shame is just an absolute taboo. It's a no-no for a man. And that's one of the biggest fears of men, where they open up, is that fear of being shamed. And it's not a nice feeling. And it's definitely not a nice experience to be shamed at all.
So a man's natural defense mechanism, if he can guide himself or let someone guide him to learn to open up, to become vulnerable in some sort of space with other men or even with his partner to unwind his significant other, to be able to show emotions like cry and decompress. Because I know being a man, how uncontrollable.
that raw dark masculine energy of rage is, if it's not harnessed correctly in a way that enhances that authenticity and power.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (08:34)
Yes. Anger doesn't have to always be a negative thing. can if it's channeled correctly.
Craig Whitney (08:43)
There's nothing wrong with being angry.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (08:44)
and it's something
that is... It's just how you use it. It can be a great motivating force. gets stuff done. And yes, there should be things in this world that make us angry. But it's how we choose to use that as whether it's a constructive force for change or...
Craig Whitney (08:51)
Exactly.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:12)
destructive one that, as in your experience, destroys your world or as you know it.
Craig Whitney (09:20)
Exactly. There's being angry and there's doing anger. And it's a doing anger when men, I feel we need to shift and harness that raw primal energy from yes, that doing anger where we have to feel the need to go to put a bluntly fuck shit up. And instead of, there's no other way of putting it.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (09:21)
sick.
Yeah. Yes.
Craig Whitney (09:47)
Instead of putting it as a destructive sort of tame that energy, knowing that hey, we men, we're built for war, that's part of our bloodline, but to channel that energy to a more constructive sort of phase. And look for outlets to release that energy and learn different skills and techniques.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (10:02)
this.
So what are some tips and tricks you'd give men in that space? And as the mum of boys, I'm really interested in how we can help our men move through some of the challenges you guys go through. Because a lot of what we see, it's like, you guys are struggling.
Craig Whitney (10:35)
Exactly, And it comes down to societal conditioning. Now I'm a big advocate of physical fitness. However I don't believe the conditioning that all men belong in a gym or on a martial arts floor. So it's a matter of finding something.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (10:37)
We wanna help.
Craig Whitney (10:56)
I call it activity. Finding an activity that you love and enjoy and gets that dopamine really fired up each and every day and do it. Whether that's riding, walking, running, just get the heart beat up. I love hiking and mountain climbing. I do a lot of it. I love jumping on my bike and going for 30 kilometer rides. As well as getting on my legs and running or power walking. And I do an average of about 200 kilometers a week on my legs.
It's a matter of that. That I think is the basics. There's a lot of psychological science behind that. The psychs argue that physical fitness helps as a release of some degree to get that dopamine fired up. And it's also good for the body as well. Health. There's a lot of health benefits and it releases depression.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (11:47)
We're seeing a lot of
Craig Whitney (11:47)
Well, let me in, so I just want something
rough.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (11:49)
Yeah, we're seeing a lot of research out that our mental health and our physical health are intimately linked. That if you're struggling in one area, chances are you're struggling in the other. Or that helping one helps the other.
Craig Whitney (12:07)
Yeah.
Well my physical health back at the time when I broke down was not ideal. I was a beast, was a heavy smoker, substance abuser, and I was looking for every excuse to hide through substances.
and sheer laziness.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (12:31)
You are numbing out the pain.
Craig Whitney (12:32)
Yeah.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (12:34)
Do want to take us through that a little bit more? And how you turned that around? So some of the changes that you made, because lots of us go through big changes like career shifts or relationship challenges or health issues. And that can be really hard and really overwhelming. But you've been there, you've gone through it. So what are some strategies you'd recommend for us trying to get through those?
Craig Whitney (13:00)
So for fellas going through my circumstance, it's important to know what rock bottom is. Know the end of what that is. To get some sort of grounding. So guess the first thing is know that end point. And fellas that are going through stuff like I did, as I look back over that journey, yeah, rock bottom meant.
losing everything as painful as what that is. My reputation, my jobs, my careers. Because it was all fake around me. I never had real friends around me. I had a lot of self-development gurus around me who a majority were friends of me because I was paying them to be friends for a program or a course.
And the true value of someone or the loyalty of someone is tested when shit hits the fan, right? Particularly when reputations start to get involved, particularly these days in the online world where we, know, keyboard warriors hide behind screens and faceless sort of profiles and go on trolling tests. So yeah, that's the first step. No.
the end point of that rock bottom to get your feet firmly planted on the wall, on the ground I should say. And due to my, my story never stopped after my prosecution. There was a suicide attempt where I cowered, I hid as my case blew up in the air, the media took hold, I hid, I ran. So my rock bottom was me having a .38 Smith & Wesson pistol in my mouth. Clicking once, no go.
clicking twice, no go, and the third time a phone call happened. And that was ideally the catalyst for me after everything that 48 hours went through of a man on the other end who I'd met previously. A few months before who invited me into a local men's group through a local community organisation called The Mankind Project.
And he seen the chaos that was going on and he gave me the space to feel heard. And a very long phone call, six or seven hours, which brought me back to my senses and back to reality, back home to get the emergency psychological treatment and started to progress with the small steps forward to keep myself alive, I guess, and to start those steps to rebuild.
And I guess with those early steps...
in progress in healing or stabilization it's knowing first and foremost we have a choice I can go home and lay in my bed I can blame the world I can give excuses and I can do the whole denial thing right bed have a choice to lie in that or below the line sort of behavior or I can take a stand and I go well this is really hard
part of my life.
I can take my oar, can jump in my boat and I can start to row towards taking ownership of myself, of my life. Working out who's left in my life and who's in my life, no matter who their responsibility or their role is, and being accountable to self and to them, and being responsible.
I had a record on my name against my name, I had a duty of care to be responsible to start to repair my own life before anything else.
And so for an example of that, used to make my bed every day as some sort of gratitude and refused to lie in my bed. Those really early sort of steps. Because I had such a bleak, out-feel of the world. It's such a tender sort of state at the time.
So making my bed I guess would be the first step for me and just looking gratitude of something that I've achieved particularly after a massive breakdown for a breakthrough as Tony Robbins used to put
Sarah Jordan-Ross (17:30)
Thank you so much for sharing that story. I am so glad that that phone call happened, that someone was watching out for you. It's the sign that you didn't succeed in your attempt at that darkest moment of your life and that there was somebody who came alongside you and walked through you through
that journey with you.
But what part do you think, like, and then you found that supportive community that helped you. How much of a difference do you think that made that you weren't doing that whole journey all by yourself? And what would you say to somebody who is lost like you were or somebody who sees somebody struggling? What would you say they could do in those circumstances?
Craig Whitney (18:30)
If you're struggling as an individual out there, I encourage you to reach out and have a conversation with Reach out for help as hard as what that is and can be and challenging.
It's better off in the short term, mid term and the long term because by isolation we naturally isolate as men in our darkest sort of depths of life. However to break that...
We have to trust someone, whether it's our loved ones, significant others, or some sort of community group, even reaching out to a counselor or a psychologist, even a trusted one. Just someone, or emergency sort of help, just someone, someone to talk to. Talking does start the phase with men.
I'm a big advocate of men's groups, huge. And there's a lot of different styles of men's groups out there. It's finding your pack, what resonates with you. I look at it like a licorice, a bag of licorice all sorts. A lot of different flavors and colors of men's organizations out there. It's finding that flavor and the values that gel for you. Yes, in my darkest times, I needed support. I needed that more of that therapeutic sort of style men's circle.
where the men, they held me to myself to a better standard and they gave that more therapeutic ear and we did a lot of the deeper dive sort of work and I'm very supportive of that and there are other groups that are more warrior based, they focus more on the warrior energy and they're good too. It's just find your style and reach out for conversation. Find yourself.
You lose yourself in these darkest moments. We're tested in these darkest moments. Old stuff coming back. Whatever. That's a test. That's the test of growth. Do I make the choice of cowering or taking that step forward and reaching for help? And it's utmost my encouragement, and I send that with heart and love, is to just reach out and have a conversation.
That's the start of the process.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (20:57)
because you can't solve a problem if you don't acknowledge that there is one and no one can help you if they don't know what's going on. And that's part of why I started this podcast was I see so many people struggling with very similar issues and yet they don't talk about it.
So the person right beside them could be going through exactly the same thing they are, but they don't know. And if they could, they could probably. If they just had that conversation, they'd be able to help each other get through it. So that connecting to other people is really, really...
important. We weren't supposed to go through this life alone and yet that's what our society now is encouraging us to do. We're all very independent, we're very disconnected from each other and from ourselves. So often we don't even know who we are.
Craig Whitney (22:14)
Exactly, we're disconnected through technology and distractions and dopamine hits of pleasure. If a man doesn't focus himself on some sort of direction and purpose, he distracts himself with pleasure.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (22:28)
Thanks.
Craig Whitney (22:28)
pleasure could distract himself from himself.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (22:32)
Yeah.
Craig Whitney (22:33)
years ago and
sat around the fire and the elders challenged the younger men to do the work. Whatever that is.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (22:41)
So speaking about doing the work, what are some practical steps you think people could take? I know you mentioned little things like making your bed or just making those little changes.
Craig Whitney (22:58)
So I'm a big advocate of awareness first. Huge advocate and I believe it's something, not just the men's organizations, but the whole personal development industry could be a bit more responsible because it's crossing over with people's mental health.
is teaching awareness first. First and foremost as an important pillar, step, transformation and not finishing on awareness. Because finishing on awareness leaves a void of what do I do next? Yes, I'm fully aware of what's going on but there's nothing for me to bite into that has no tangibility or next steps. So I've come up with
with a rage sort of formula, Rage, and I cover this in a 30 day primal code program that I've not long released. Rage, as we naturally know as blokes, it's that dark, uncontrolled, untamed energy.
We can't tame it, society can't tame it, although it's trying to tame it, it's trying to shame it as bad. know, things like toxic masculinity come to the surface a lot in the media. The media does its best, however, rage itself, it's this uncontrolled energy. As men, instead of looking at that uncontrolled energy, shift our perspective.
to a more awareness. Dial that energy into acute awareness. And I've come up with a simple acronym, it's called RAGE. And R is for recognize your shadows or blind spots. With forward thinkers, a blind spot is something that I cannot see, that I suppress, that I maybe deny.
that is a problem for me that I don't ultimately recognize and this is the power of what a pack does it picks those blind spots up and calls you forward to empowerment yeah you cannot master what you refuse or recognize to see so without without that without some sort of ability to see nothing works apply any sort of mentality
It was like me back in 2017 where I was just feeding my ego, putting a bandaid on an exploding artery. It just goes nowhere. So A is for adapt, the perception. And yes, I've just got a few notes here just to jog my memory. The world bends to those who master their perspective. Shift states change perspectives on things. Beliefs shape your results.
No matter where you are in your life, your beliefs will shape your end result. If I keep saying, I can't do this, I can't do this, well, I can't do it. And I know that may sound tender for some members that may be going through something right now, but belief is all, sometimes it may be all you have. And it might be believing in the simple steps that hey,
of watching a sunrise and taking something there or a sunset, something so small and incremental.
As a maverick or as a man, we reframe and reclaim and recalibrate. So there's skills that we have to learn. Reframe and recalibrate our beliefs. Go shift from I can't to I can do this. And this is the heart of resilience. I refuse to bow to my past and my past does come up now and then. It come up recently where I got bombarded yet again by trolls and.
all sorts of triggered people. And I refuse to bow, I refuse to bow, let alone I refuse to argue, but I refuse to surrender. It's like, no, this is my story. I take full ownership and responsibility of my story. Yeah, what happened seven years ago now wasn't good or healthy. However, it's what changed my direction and I can't change what's already happened. I can't change my rock bottom.
however I can make the choice to change direction. So it's adaption. And G is ground. Ground and truth and action.
In some of our most testing moments, ideas come and go. The mind, the subconscious mind thinks of all these ideas, what we could possibly do, and that's great. That means the brain's actively moving.
Ideas don't create results Execution does Find something, a pathway, a plan, something so simple a step forward It could be just making a bed in some of the most tenderest moments It could be enjoying a sunrise and enjoying gratitude in the moment keeping a gratitude journal or a sunset showing gratitude that I made it through another day Ideally for those who are going through those most tender moments
where they need to be supported.
And we can expand on that for men who have more strength. And that we can go bigger. We can start getting more into the maverick. We can start getting more into that hunter style energy of moving, making decisions and acting to get the results that we desire. And the E is expand and execute.
Those who own the future, so that comes back to taking ownership, right? Jumping in our Viking ship and taking out all ownership, responsibility, accountability and responsibility and rowing. Rowing. Or not. Those who own the future are the ones who move first. I had to make my moves first to own my future.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:10)
ability.
Craig Whitney (29:27)
or I could have made the choice of lying in my bed, throwing out blame, excuses, and denial. And what would have come back from that? Seven fingers pointed back. The problem wouldn't have solved itself. So that's the rage formula. That's what I cover in the 30-day primal.
in a lot more depth for fellows to grasp that. So awareness is important. It's the most important first step, not the last, in my view of the world.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (29:55)
which is...
Yeah, you've got
to that.
Craig Whitney (30:07)
and I'm happy to be wrong.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (30:11)
And that's a good place to be. And all the stuff you just shared was amazing. Thank you. So for those that are listening, if they want to know more about your work and what you do and maybe go deeper with some of the stuff that we've explored today, how can they get hold of you?
Craig Whitney (30:29)
Find me on social media, look me up, I'm Craig Whitney. I'm a lot more responsive on Facebook than anywhere else. That's where I primarily market myself. I'm a bit of a one man band. I don't really have a big marketing team around me, so I don't have the time to get around to different social medias. Ultimately, you can jump on the Second Chance Man dot online.
book a free 30 minute Phoenix Riving Call and we can discuss options of where we go from there.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:04)
Phoenix Rising, I love that.
Craig Whitney (31:04)
Definitely
follow me on socials, on Facebook. I'm very active. Join my group, The Resilience Project.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:13)
Yes, because it can be a really hard journey back up from rock bottom. I love how one of your programs is called Phoenix Rising, which is rising from the ashes. And sometimes that's what we need to do.
Craig Whitney (31:32)
Yeah, and as brothers, it's important to learn we're not here to fix one another. We're here to support and see the best of each other.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (31:44)
And when we do and we bring out that best in each other, that's when things start to change. Thank you so much for being here with us today and for sharing your wisdom. This has been such an important reminder that no matter how hard things get, it is never ever too late to make a change.
Craig Whitney (31:52)
Exactly.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (32:12)
Second chances aren't just about bouncing back. They're about rising stronger, wiser, and more intentional than before. And you don't have to make big changes all at one time. Make those little changes make a big difference. For those of you listening, if Craig's message spoke to your heart, take a moment to reflect. Where in your life do you need a second chance?
What's one little thing you can do today? One tiny step you can take towards healing, growth and change. And remember, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. We were made to do life in community. You don't have to do it all alone. So join the conversation. You can connect with Craig and with me on social media.
You can subscribe to Taboo Talk with Sarah on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube. And if this episode spoke to you, and I hope it did, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Thank you for being here, for showing up and for choosing to have these conversations with us. Until next time, take care and please keep telling your stories because they really do matter.
Craig, thank you again for joining us.
Craig Whitney (33:44)
loved it.
Sarah Jordan-Ross (33:45)
and great. So we will see everybody again next week. Take care for now.
Craig Whitney (33:53)
Thank you.